Spontaneous Scribbles

2008-08-09T04:47:00.000-07:00

I miss Bangalore. Its weather,roads and even that miserable traffic. Yeah probably goes to show how much am pining to be back in there. To do what? Not really sure. I just want to be back in the confines of my house or actually, just the city (for now atleast). Went out of station for a change but now it feels too long and an overdose of anything is never good!

Lots of events have taken place so far. Some trivial while some very significant. Am i sounding vague now? This is the problem. Though I can claim to have a freedom of expression, I actually have to choose and edit what I say here else my conscience starts pricking or what i write gets misinterpreted (provided someone reads it..hmm..). And so, it feels like freedom comes with such a huge baggage of responsibility and making the right decisions. My case was just a tiny-winy example, there are several other more important ones. Lots of questions come in mind - do i mention names? do i cite events word-to-word? do i make my opinions crystal clear, for eg, opinions regarding the screwed up..oops..the instable political scenario in the state and country too etcetra. That's why many a times when i look forward to venting my pent up emotions through this medium, i restrain and pull back for i admit i do not know what to write and what not to write here! So, the best way out is to not dwelve into personal issues often.

On a second thought, it's these personal issues that act as a trigger for getting my brain juices flowing. For one, i've been wondering about this for a while now - does authority give people the right to impose their thoughts and ideas over others? For eg, does one necessarily need to respect one's elders each and every time, even on occassions when their idealogies clash and there's only one way out. Hasn't someone said that respect must be earned and not demanded? Then why's it we are brought up being told to respect so-and-so. Why aren't we allowed to grow up and when we've started having our own beliefs, we make our own decisions and choose to respect those whom we truly wish to and not for the sake of it. I mean, just how many times have you found yourself using the word 'respect' without feeling an inch of it? I have. And had I had my way, I'd rather not respect someone than pretend to cuz I feel the latter's more harsh. Something i'm definitely going to continue wondering about...

Before i sign off, something for all in general:
If you've got the time, visit Salarjung Museum at Hyderabad. It basically comprises of all the collections of the Salarjungs(who used to be sultans). It's nice to see, for a change, collections of porcelain and different varieties of clocks rather than, say, that of coin/stamp :) The rulers of those generations were far more well-travelled than us or so i presume since they've got collections from nearly all parts of the world. It's an absolute treat to the eyes. Visually appealing and leaves you in awe of the admirably talented sculpturors, carpenters, goldsmith etc who designed such beautiful pieces of art. Loooovely :)

2008-06-23T10:24:00.000-07:00

Yeah i know it's been a long time since i posted. Felt like i didnt have enough content to blog about or the interest. I'm continuing it now and hope i do so more regularly from now on.
It's holiday time right now and i haven't yet joined any classes and am basically rotting away at home!! At the same time, now that my mind's no more in that pressure-cooker-situation, I have more time to ponder over many things concerning myself and others in general.
Looking back at how these past 2 years literally flew past me. Many regrets. Some discoveries. Lots of introspection. Lots more of procrastination. Failing expectations. Feeling crestfallen-disappointed-confused-lost-helpless-deeply wounded. Wiping those tears. Looking ahead. Supportive friends. Some mockery. Some encouragement. Moving on. Thinking about the future. Having hopes. Eradicating those hopes in the fear of disappointments. Trying to be positive-determined-well balanced. And.. here i am.

I have no idea why but I feel that i'm meant to stand out in a crowd. Am not meant to be one of those pale personalities which come and go in a blink of an eye. I'm obviously not trying to boast(there's nothing to boast about anyway!). Am just trying to find the purpose with which God sent me here on this planet. I am aware of the fact that when am lost, God does leave me clues to find the path on which I am supposed to tread along. At those instants, I might have been looking for direct answers and hence could have missed the clues but now as I look back, I realise that I lacked patience to find that path and make my own decisions.

I just feel that God wants me to stand out from the crowd and be a role model for others. Someone who genuinely cares, respects and wishes good for others while being strong and capable herself. Someone who's qualified to help others. And to get there, I do realise that I've got a lot of commitments to fulfill and would have to raise myself to greater heights and push myself to the limits. This is where I'm going to head towards now, trying to get in touch with myself as well as the purpose am supposed to fulfill.

Till next post, cya :)

2008-01-12T16:19:00.000-08:00

We've barely welcomed 2008 with open arms and there already seems to be so many problems to be resolved world-wide. Whenever I read about the happenings in Pakistan, it sets in a melancholic tone. I don't know what to say. That country's going through so much. I have no choice but to be diplomatic here as this is open to the public but personally, I feel the country's wearing out faster than the tyres on the roads. Is anyone going to wake up and take action?

India and Pakistan. If they come together for a cause, they can wow the world with their impact. They have so much to offer. They are both rich culturally; they can bank upon their agriculture to make advancements in fields like organic farming; they have several picturesque places that can be developed into tourist attractions. They can depend on each other in order to achieve mutualism. India - its booming IT industry and its nuclear technology. Pakistan - its fertile lands and textile industry. I do not understand some things. If these ideas can occur to a common man(or woman in this case) like me, then shouldn't the more able respective authorities be better equipped to make and execute plans that are fruitful for both the parties involved?

This brings me to the Bali incident. I shall copy-paste the email I received from the organisation Avaaz. People please have a look at this. You might as well just read this bit. I should have pasted this before so that you could have skipped my writing if you wanted to. Anyway, here's it :

"Arriving in Bali, most countries wanted to work towards a new global treaty on climate change as well as new targets for carbon emissions by rich countries. But late last week, the US and Canada teamed up to undermine the talks -- the US blocked the whole Bali summit consensus, and when a smaller group of Kyoto treaty countries tried to move ahead without the US, they were blocked by Canada. The summit was in danger of deadlock. The Avaaz community flew into action, signing and spreading petitions to each of the governments, supporting ad campaigns in Bali and Canada, marches around the world, and phoning and lobbying elected officials.
At the summit, Avaaz members brought the storm of public criticism inside the conference walls with the only march allowed inside the venue, the largest climate petition delivery in history, daily press conferences and "fossil awards" for the worst countries in the negotiations, and constant lobbying of officials. In the final hours of the summit, Canada backed down completely and allowed Kyoto countries to agree to strong 2020 targets on carbon emissions, and the US team, now entirely isolated and actually booed by the world's diplomats, compromised and agreed to call for "deep cuts" and "reference" the 2020 targets. This paved the way for the summit to agree to sign a new global climate change treaty by 2009.
Usually these conferences are stuffy diplomatic affairs - but this time the world was watching, and speaking, each day. Together, we brought people-powered politics to the halls of power, and put our governments on notice: in the fight to save our environment, we will not be spectators."

" This is just the beginning. Every nation of the world has now agreed that they will enter into accelerated negotiations and, by 2009, sign a new treaty to confront global warming. We need this treaty to set binding global targets for carbon emissions, and a mechanism for meeting them, that keep the earth's temperature from rising more than 2 degrees celsius - the amount that scientists say would be 'catastrophic'. Such a treaty will change the world's economy forever, weaning us off oil and fossil fuels to cleaner sources of energy. Some leaders, in the pocket of the oil industry, will fight it tooth and nail all the way. And we will too. A great struggle to save our environment has begun, and this weekend, showed together that the people of the world aren't intending to sit this one out."

WAY TO GO AVAAZ! :)

2007-10-17T02:01:00.000-07:00

Sheesh i just realised (maybe for the zillionth time for the record..) that am such a RANDOM person. Like totally. And my absent-mindedness is getting on my nerves now. I got sooo freaking worried when i thought i lost that coupon at Amoeba in exchange for my shoes when it was in my back-pocket. Apparently Das had asked me to keep it there and i had agreed. Gee. :/

Have you heard of shoe size 2? i mean TWO??? Thats the size I had to settle down with at Amoeba can u believe it?? I mean now this is highly insulting. Alright i do have amazingly tiny feet that counterparts of my ancestors in China would have absolutely loved and worshipped back then but yuck, i hate my small feet! But where's the transition from my usual size 4 to 2?? TWO!!! And thats not it cuz it was sorta loose too but I had gone enough number of times to that guy there in the counter and he gave this really amused look when he realised size 3 was too loose for me.
Maybe thats why I was mentally disturbed and got the least score in there.
HAHAHAHA

You know i have this uncanny knack of getting myself in the most amazingly embarrassing situations all round the season. What have i not done? I have fallen down quite badly from an escalator(okok i was trying to sprint up but Hey! my train would have otherwise left in 5 more seconds!!), I have pondered over how it feels to fall flat from the bus while alighting..u know with legs and hands outstretched..and I ended up doing the exact thing while alighting at my stop... and many more of such incidences. I guess i have this carefree attitude that gets me in hot soup most of the times! Gee :/

2007-10-09T21:18:00.000-07:00

okok a reply first and foremost.
Brian. Of course i remember you and i remember crapping together during those debate team meetings...haha..... good times cannot be forgotten u know.... haha ....right now i really feel like having a one-on-one debate again and u should go dumbstruck the way u did the first time. hahahaha that was damn funny. Anyhow good luck for your A's. Ace them.

Life's the same at my end, like u said, "monotonous and mundane"
and I got to go now and shall update later
I know i sort of ceased existing in the blogosphere but trust me..its just a phase soooo
Ta ta
and oh. people if u leave a comment here, please leave behind your blog add(if you have one) or something else so that i can contact ya back.
cheers

2007-06-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

I'm short-tempered. Agreed. As much as I'd like to remain cool and composed, my restlessness and the need to retaliate once something goes against what i believe in is immense. Nonetheless i think nobody can stand someone who thinks the world of himself. I hate this condescending behaviour. Oh please, you don't own the world. Why can't you just shut up if you've got nothing positive to say? Be critical by all means but heard of something called "constructive criticism"? I bet you haven't or else you wouldn't be acting so stuck-up like the way you are. Ouch. No offense to anybody in particular here. All you arrogant brats can share my wrath.

Its hard for me to remain objective and non-judgemental at times, atleast not after I've seen something crappy like this happening over and over again. I mean.. whats wrong with you? Why can't you act normal? See thats why i think i make a bad leader. Its difficult for me to talk through these things calmly. I lose my patience "just laddat". Sigh. But you know what, I think most of us end up putting up with such behaviour cuz we think our reaction is just going to make it worse. But... c'mon. Somebody somewhere has got to speak up against it. Fine if nobody is going to do, I guess i'll take this up.

Anyways I do think that sometimes I get angry more often than i should. Well well if i've offended any of you, Yes you my dear friends, you know i don't mean it. I might spit fire but it ends at that. I'll probably be trying hard after that to make up for it. Ouch. I should think loads before i act but chey... blabbermouth! Can't help it you see. But the above two paragraphs still hold good! Will always hold good! Hmmmph!

2007-06-07T21:18:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking...
... in a year's time I'll have to make up my mind on what professional course i'll have to settle down with. It's like for the first time am getting to make a choice thats entirely mine. Okay maybe not entirely. I'll probably get subconsciously influenced by my friends, parents mmm teachers also maybe? Who knows. And the toughest part is to listen to all of that, keep it aside and then listen to my heart, what I truly want to do with my life. None of us likes to be pushed around am sure but its not a cakewalk either when it comes to making such a pivotal decision, one which will probably provide the framework for your career. Grrr. Am confused. uhuh what the hell... I don't even have anything concrete in mind.

mmm can you imagine me as a....lets say.... lawyer? HA HA no ways. Leave alone participating in the moot courts, I start shivering while standing on the stage before everyone. Geez.

Oh and that reminds me.... my high school classmate in Singapore suggested that I become a politician. HA and do what? "Vote for Arpita" ??? followed by empty promises? hollow words? hyperactivity during pre-election times? Please yah! I like keeping to my word and expect that from others as well. [PS maybe i was generalising but whatever.]

On a more serious note, I think i can picturise myself as a young and dynamic businesswoman :)
Hehe hopefully lethargy doesn't have a go at me! I have changed my "dream profession" as often as Paris Hilton has changed boyfriends or perhaps Lindsay Lohan has been caught on the wrong side of the law but mmm guess am determined to stick onto one of my choices.

Ciao then! and oh,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARSHA!!! (see you get special mention in here. Thanks for those "hey keep blogging" words of encouragement!!) *grins from ear to ear*

2007-05-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

Am shit scared! SAT results are coming out soon! haha and that spells lots of anxiety+ nervousness + blahblahblah. You get my point. Why did i write it? Hmmmmmm.
Good question. Let me figure it out for myself first.

Oh. You ought to hear this! Our new math teacher is like yAy. Double thumbs-up to him. He's actually making me get fascinated with a subject(math) which i seriously thought had a major shortage of charm (pls yah. compare it to other subs and see!). School math had been alright but a little too dry-fry. Nothing that would make you spring up and go "Oh shit this is some really neat stuff!". Sometimes that sort of easy-ness makes you feel good. Or rather it makes you feel you're being more productive cuz it doesn't require much hard-core thinking and you can solve problems faster. But then again, lack of challenging problems does make it boring and monotonous.

I might join the Math club if indeed it's opened. It sounds geeky doesn't it? haha but trust me its going to be a cool thing cuz we are going to do equally cool stuff. yAy :)

This post sounds more like a verbal speech than a written account doesn't it? I find it sharing close resemblances with the way i generally talk.

random side-note:
hahahahahaha
hehehehehehe
haaaahaaaaha
Lololololololol
Lmao

different forms/expressions of laughter but does it really make any difference? as long as you feel wonderful and the laughter originates from deep down your heart and not just the superficial laughter that arises from the mouth/throat.
Laugh all you like; laugh all you want. You own the world ;)

2007-05-07T01:32:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, i feel so out of place. Just sometimes? May be all the time these days. I really don't know why. I don't even want to talk to myself about it cuz it so doesn't help! I think am depressed. Don't ask me the whyS. I don't know! My mind's a total whirlpool right now. I know what I want to end up as, the way i should "ideally" turn out, but am constantly distracting myself. WHY???? I think that mere action has now slowly started crawling into a habit. And trust me this sucks. Like totally.

I don't want anyone showing me any "pity" or whatsoever cuz I think i can make do without that. Am writing in here just cuz i felt like. Atleast "virtually" lessening the burden. I think I've got a huge ego(don't really know if people like that do admit it but to whatever!). I expect too much. Like a LOT! And the work that goes in towards that is hardly anything. Like almost nil. Is this the problem? maybe. then again, maybe not. I swear i don't know. I think am facing one of the worst dilemmas of my life. And at a completely untimely time(whatever that is). Man. this sucks. I just want to pull myself out of this. I pray it never happens with any of you.

Its so true eh... the good times never seem to end once they begin(same for the bad times). Sigh. But see am not complaining about life. Realised its high time i stop saying the dumb old "why me?" line cuz its not just me alone. I'm very well aware of how people all across the world are in stickier situations than me and that i ought to be glad and thankful to God for lots of stuff(which i really am). Alright. Enough.

I'll be surprised if you've even managed to reach this point but if you have and regretted, then am sorry Not cuz this is my blog and i really am going to pen down whatever's bothering me. like this one. And if you are a dear friend, please bear with me :)

2007-04-26T22:20:00.000-07:00

DON'T YOU DARE

October 3, 2005

When you think it's all behind you

And that you're far ahead of it,

Watch out

Because it's then that it sneaks up to grab you

And pull you right back down with it.

So don't you dare,

Don't you dare even think about quitting

You're in it this far

Just keep your head up

And keep on pushing

You'll make it all right

It's when you think that you're done

And you tell yourself that you can't go any farther

Then you have to look yourself in the eyes

And say, "Get up, get up"

And don't ever give up

For you are better then this.

So don't you dare

Don't you dare even think about quitting,

You're in it this far

Just keep your head up

And keep on pushing

You'll make it all right

And so when they say it's over

You say, "Never"

And then you must keep on going

Because it's that last mile that you go

When you think you can't go any farther

That will make all the difference in your life

So don't you dare

Don't you dare even think about giving up

When I know you have so much more to give

Don't you dare

Don't you dare.

--- Written in 2005 by Adam Spears --- Kentucky

No i won't dare

2007-04-14T00:42:00.000-07:00

This is a tribute
like any other

To the one responsible for an unexplainable surge in my adrenaline levels
To the one who never fails in giving me the creeps whenever i think of anything related
To the one whom i totally loathe for messing up the insides of my mouth (What not do you people use eh?? scalpels... pliers(or whatever that thing's called!)...that extended mirror thingy...horrible-tasting anaesthetics....the INJECTIONS!!!! and the list goes on and on and on....)
To the one at whose clinic I shiver like a cat drenched in the frequenting thunderstorms
To the one for whom i genuinely thank God and my stars for making me consult him/her as less as possible

To the one who makes sure that my teeth aren't attacked by those disgustingly-tiny-yet-overpowering-bacteria
To the one who ensures my teeth remain white (so white that i can advertise for a CloseUp commercial) :)
And of course, the one I owe my beautiful smile to :)

Thank You Dentist
:) << see your masterpiece!

2007-03-24T15:40:00.000-07:00

So...
It's been quite a time since the 11th standard has become just another part of history. It's back to normal since the time school re-opened. Same old lectures, same old classes. Perhaps one slight change would be that despite the class going crazy after Pt periods, everyone has become more serious than before. Lessons go on with a much greater extent of silence, there's a rush to the library to borrow the BIG FAT science reference books and yes, we do manage to actually study a little before the tests. Don't tell me the 'boards fever' has caught up with us as well!
Its pretty scary to imagine what would happen in about a year's time. Everybody would be extremely busy writing all sorts of entrance exams for every damn institute! Difference in preferences would actually split us apart....in a way. No! I don't wanna think about that. For the moment, am happy with the friends i have. Don't want any news ones. But of course, i know this will all change few years down the road.
I feel so guilty at times cuz when i make new friends, i inevitably seem to lose touch with my old friends even though that'd be the last thing i'd want to do! i just HATE that. Grrrrr......
Okay. I don't wanna think about all that now. Base Orientation starts today and am rather anxious about that.
Later then. Ciao!

2007-02-26T00:49:00.000-08:00

Aiight. So its post-Valentine's. VERY post i know but still, post isn't it? :) hehe....
So well, I can't help but write something lovey-dovey, mushy sorts...for no specific reason actually cuz this day, though surely filled with lots of affection and love, doesn't carry all that extra meaning to me. Maybe yes...cuz am very much single and not exactly willing to mingle right now! hahaha :)

Read "Love Story" by Erich Segal recently. First and foremost, for all those who have no clue about this and immediately form an image of a dumb, bimbotic, no-brains story, I take great pleasure in saying this on your face: You are WRONG!!!

Moral of the story: Please do not make assumptions.

Its an extremely sweet story. Not sweet as in dripping-with-honey sorts...but you know.... just normal sweet. Very poignant and touching. Its penned down in such a realistic and beautiful manner that you immediately connect with it. Its not too far-fetched and yet it leaves ample of space for your vivid imagination. And oh well, the ending is very sad. Won't spoil the fun by quoting any incident in the story but you got to bring it home from the bookshelf and read it as soon as possible!!

Why? Very simple. Its something that you can imagine happening to you. And. It talks about simple things in life. Simple things that often have greater-than-life thoughts put into it and lead to even greater consequences. Its about relationships and the fact that its all in your hands. You can either make it or break it.

So, whats the wait for? Press your nose against the book now and get immersed in it. As an icing on the cake, I shall share with you another information. The book's rather short so it will be quite a quick finish. What more huh? Precisely! *grins*

Aiight then. Will come back with another post soon. Till then, adios!

2007-01-19T00:56:00.000-08:00

hmm u know something? though i may not be the happiest person on Earth right now but am thankful for the bunch of friends I have who can not only tolerate my mood swings(by teasing me about it but being patient with me nonetheless) and hot-temper, but also make me laugh like I've not laughed for a loooooong time.
Is it just what i feel or are so many people really realising that they are just being used and their efforts are not at all appreciated? So many people work behind-the-scenes till their face is literally shining with sweat and yet their work isn't recognised. Or rather they are not recognised for the hard work that they've put in. Whenever some major event's taking place, people only notice those who usher the guests etc etc. Nobody even bothers to think about those who put in their everything into making those posters, banners etc. Those who went an extra mile to ensure that everything was done up to perfection and that expectations were exceeded, when they could have jolly well decided to let somebody else shoulder that responsibility.
It takes a lot of courage to do that, doesn't it? Guess thats why I get sooo pissed off when I feel that I've truly done something extra and don't get the deserved appreciation/response/whatever. But shouldn't we feel that way for ourselves sometimes? I mean if you allow everybody to just dump all the hard work at you and just bask in the glory, isn't that allowing yourself to be stomped over ?
Yeah its a nice nice world. We must all put others before self. Like they say in hindi "neki kar dariya mein dal" meaning do a kind deed and forget about it; don't expect anything out of it. Yeah it makes sense at times but you surely musn't abide by it always. If you can't care for yourself, seriously I don't see how anybody else truly can?
Guess the one thing we all must never fail to do is learn to respect yourself. That way respect for others(PS those who truly deserve it and *Not every tom,dick and harry that u meet!) will naturally follow.
Ooooo am giving tips eh? Hehe but I do think that made sense :)

2007-01-07T18:57:00.000-08:00

I just feel like a half empty wine glass. Not half full. Its like somebody had done a bad job of trying to fill it and given it up mid-way, leaving everybody to ponder about its content, its richness. Even the glass itself can't make up its mind. And time continues to fly by as it always did, not stopping to give even one glance.

Atleast the glass holds hope. Of being filled to the brim. I don't even have that. Isn't that worse?

I'll fill my own glass.

2006-12-20T22:03:00.000-08:00

Okay so dear daniel (oh wow thats alliteration! english literature!! oh how i miss u. NOT king of the castle but Lit in general, and Mr. Ng of course...) has tagged me and I shall sincerely do it. Yes. Plus am running out of topics right now but shhh! hehh

1) Single, taken or crushing?
crushing? lol whats that? anyway, single of course !! :)

2) Are you happy with your life now?
nope. am underperforming in every field. and thats not me.

3) When you meet the right person, will you fall for him/her fast?
probably(am easy to impress, unfortunately) but would take ages before mentioning it.

4) Have you had your heart broken?
that sounds really serious! ehh been upset loads but not that major i guess.

5) Do you believe there are circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
No way!

6) Would you talk to someone back if he/she cheats you?
most likely not.

7) Have you talked to another person about marriage before?
of course. talks of a bored and idle mind. but its fun, just thinking out what future can be all about :)

8) Do you want children?
obviously. wanna adopt though.

9) How many?
either 1 or 2. like who can decide right now anyway!

10) Would you consider adoption?
that would be the first thing on my mind in the future

11) If someone likes you right now, would you accept?
depends. accept can be just approving the liking right? needn't mean consent. you should appreciate :)

12) Do you enjoy getting into relationship?
no experience

13) Be honest, what did you and your ex did?
what a wasted Q.

14) Do you believe in love at first sight?
come to think of it, maybe. there's chance of it happening. ppl do pursue their "loves at first sight"

15) Are you romantic?
Erm thats for me to figure out when the time comes.

16) Do you believe you can change a person?
i believe nobody can change u unless u let yourself be changed. same applies here. am no God.

17) If you could marry someone, where would it be?
no clue. but i would prefer a low-profile one.

18) Do you easily give in when you are fighting?
depends. sometimes its better to 'give in' when u know its seriously pointless.

19) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
yeah for loads of people. feelings can include negative ones too right? ha!

20) Have you ever wished you had someone, who loves you?
i know the people who love me and i do reciprocate it. what more?! :)

21) Have you ever broken a heart?
I hope not

22) One day, if your best friend falls in love with the he/she you're love deeply with, what would you do?
wow melodrama eh. let me not tell. lets keep the suspense up!

23) Are you missing someone right now?
yes. loads of people.

Who do i tag? Hmm most of the people who i wanted to tag have already been. So i leave it upto you. anyone who feels like doing it or is jobless enough to want to, go ahead! =)

2006-12-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

'What" will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Lol. so there.

2006-12-12T21:36:00.000-08:00

Okay so here goes my promised blog entry. No not about the trek. I need pictures for that. its about that trip to jaynagar. especially that weekender shop. Firstly, i was seriously running out of budget. Yeah inefficient planning....whateva :) okay so we( mandy and me...go figure out for urself who mandy is ) manage to make a rather handsome bargain, i mean considering that one usually doesn't bargain at such places. man i think am a villager through and through. completely uncivilised in everything i do. hehh!
okay so after that, this button on my cargoes comes off instantaneously after i bought it. within a fraction of second. thats like. bad. really really bad, don't u think? anyhow, i start searching for it frantically. and then these salespeople try helping me out. they tried helping out in the hunt. then they got a similar cargo for me but me being me, i just had to make a fuss about the colour being off a shade. so then we finally get a button transferred from that one to my cargoes. i mean i thought we were being so fussy and throughout it all, the salespeople( esp this *particular one....yea you might try figuring that out as well) was being soooo patient and sweet. Oh boy we were really touched. guess its hard to come across such genuinely nice people around in this wild and crazy place we live in. sighh.
okay so there.

You know what? Often i derive my ideas from whatever's happening around me. And thats whats got me thinking hard. Picture yourself years down the road. When you are in a, lets say, marriage-able age. Your parents are the orthodox kind who, again lets say, are searching for a match for you but you already have the Mr/Ms Perfect in you life. But u haven't yet let that out. But you know that they won't give their approval, for some particular reasons. Should u be selfish and keep hiding this piece of news from them and announce it when u know Mr Perfect will be instantaneously willing to pop the Q right before your parents. Or should u think twice, esp about all that your parents have done withought having any clue about who you have in mind. i dunno. i know that u must many a times put urself above others but just someeeewhere deep down i feel a pang of guilt.
something's pricking.

2006-12-03T21:16:00.000-08:00

its so easy to be upset and much harder, if possible, to cheer up after that. i am experiencing it wholesale. i can choose to go on about whatever's hurting me and what am bugged with, but i guess thats just gonna get u all in a rotten mood as well. SO. spare the child and spare the rod. here have a look.

isn't it breathtaking? somebody must have rightly considered it to be gorgeous and called it gorges. u just get to read about them in geog books and all but to catch an eyeful for yourself. omg its a treat to ur eyes.
AND. i took this photograph myself! yes i don't make all that bad a photographer eh *swells in self-praise*
one of my fav pics.
thats all for now. and oh, in case some of u didn't know(though i think there's been enough publicity everywhere), Dec 1 was World AIDS Day. So here's a toast to years ahead with lesser and lesser cases of people suffering from this deadly disease. and people for God's sake, STOP nurturing stupid misconceptions. i know a normal reaction (about AIDS)would be to recoil and flinch. BUT. stop at that. no more.
"fight the disease, not the person"

2006-11-21T17:47:00.000-08:00

Today was a
Bad day.
English exam during the 0,1 & 2 periods. Horrible is an understatement. The whole exam was content-based. Bloody. Considering we only rely on the essay-writing part to get us some decent marks so that we needn't pretend like we never wrote the exam. People are fine with Grammar too. People, not me. I couldn't even spell "grammar" for quite a long time :) Failing in grammar has almost become a part of my identity. ( usual marks - 1 0r 2 upon 5)
After getting answers from everywhere, literally, *flashes an angelic smile* we finally submit the papers. Its kind of interesting to notice that people(yes includes me too) discuss English exam also! Haha very funny. No sarcasm.

Math afterwards. Did Permutations. Yes regardless of having done it before (still vivdly remember the struggles for the O level), am a MEGA DUD when it comes to it. And everything else too actually but thats besides the point. I was quite satisfied with spending my time finding "n"s and "r"s. It was just appealing. Yes math can be appealing. -Lesson 1

Lunch Break!! Hogging in action. Aaloo was in stock again. Just love that veggie and its extremely hard, actually impossible, to believe that some are sick of aaloo. I mean, HOWS THAT POSSIBLE? its AALOO!!! tsk tsk tsk

Bell goes, signalling end of lunch break. All good things come to an end. - Lesson 2
Physics. Omg it was extraordinarily boring! Kind of dozed off. Thats rude i know but you should have sat there. Got back to 'looking outside the window'. Some great personality considered it to be extremely mannerless on my part of having looked outside the window for a fraction of a second! Physics can get boring. - Lesson 3
(but thats not all that often)

Had chemistry pracs for last 2 periods. Must give credit to my amazing memory for having completely forgotten about bringing materials for the pracs. Looked at my organic chem paper. Oh no i got terrible marks! Stereochemistry doubts took up quite a bit of time, including to and fro trips to the library with that monsterous book in my hand. Just carrying such huge books can build in lots of pressure. - Lesson 4
I need to learn to strike a balance between play/work. - Lesson 5

2006-11-09T13:54:00.000-08:00

Okay ultra sorry for no updates! But seriously, there's hardly anything new that I can share with you guys. This whole month sucks BIG time!! Yea u can make a wild guess....a plethora of exams! Everybody's conspiring against us :(
Alright let me put forth some random things that occur to me often...
1. Our school has classes right from the kindergarten to JC2(12th std). We have school buses. Our school's right on top of a hill. So there's like this row of staircases leading upto the entrance. Our class has a habit of gathering opposite the staircase. Thats the parking space for the buses. And everytime i have this nagging thought at the back of my mind that one day one of these buses is going to drive right at me. I mean seriously, a majority of the bus drivers can't drive properly. In fact our bus even had the pleasure of crashing against the side of the road, just avoiding any major accident!!
2. Am afraid of heights. But whenever i look down from an escalated place, like a terrace, i feel like jumping down...really :S no no i don't have any suicidal thoughts on my mind...but oh well, told ya these are random thoughts..maybe i just wanna experience free fall :D
3. I talk a lot, both offline and online. So when somebody replies me with one or two syllables when am online, i seriously start thinking that the person thinks am such an annoying ass =S
4. I think the dogs have something seriously against me. Cmon or else why would they bark only at me amidst a whole bigger group of people? What's a dog's predator? Maybe i was that in my previous birth....ahha...
5. Many times i feel that somebody's watching every single one of my moves (trust me this can get reeeeally creepy. U gotta experience it to know how it feels. But take it from me, you wouldn't like to get a feel of it!)
6. When i was still in S'pore, whenever i went out i'd see these workers sweeping the place and all. Really nice of them i know. But everytime i gave them a look, I felt that I'd end up just like that!! Really no jokes. :(
7. I think i attract more of the "unwanted" attention than the i-don't-really-mind kinda attention. Anyone in the same boat as me on this one??

Okay 7's a good number so i shall stop here. Even otherwise, i would have had to stop or else it'd be like what my phunky classmates phrase it, "death guy, death!!!".

To all the faithful visitors of my blog, here's an update just for you, yes YOU :)

2006-10-29T16:42:00.000-08:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Depression Level: 88%

You seem to be severely depressed.You should seek immediate attention from your physician.Depression can be cured - you just need to take the first step.

Are You Depressed?

Truly sad.
But thats ok. Am not posting this up for any sympathy.
Many a times its a lone battle....

2006-10-23T00:36:00.000-07:00

Physics.
So now you know what this post of mine will be about. I promise I won't try to make it sound boring but if it inevitably does, I can't help it and thats why I'm telling you, yes YOU, in advance that YOU can just skip my post this time round. I totally would understand :)

Physics, according to popular perception( i suppose), might indeed seem to reduce natural phenomenon like rainbows and sunsets to a mere set of equations. Just to prevent further misconceptions, let me tell ya that by doing so, nobody is trying to belittle nature. In fact the very existence of Physics serves to understand Nature. These set of equations which may pale in comparison to the actual occurence of these events, in fact simplifies them, thus helping any layman to understand them better and thus appreciate them even more. Isn't that gloryfing Mother Nature?

Physics, i believe, like any other subject of content must be studied in order to facilitate new breakthroughs and thus understand our surroundings better. To phrase it in physics terminology, we can consider ourselves as the system. Nature is our surroundings. In order to have a greater insight on the interactions between us and our surrounding, we must be well-read and well-informed of ourselves and the surrounding. Physics acts as a medium for us to understand Nature.

Physics is not just a part of our Science textbook. Look around you and tell me where do you not see physics? Its everywhere, right from the entering of the Sun's rays into our courtyard to the high tides of the ocean to the twinkling stars in the celestial sky. Try hiding from it and it'll show itself to you even more clearly. It preaches co-existing in Harmony with our Nature. Its as divine as Nature itself can get :)

2006-10-10T16:46:00.000-07:00

Ace exams,
i am not
Party hard,
i am not
Rock the tracks,
i am not
Slog at home,
i am not
Be a bore,
i am not
Catch attention,
i am not
Be shunned away,
i am not

What am I?

Can i call this a form of poetry? Like abstract poetry or something? haha its just crap. Random ramblings. Yes thats what it is.
The haze in Singapore. Its really heart-wrenching. And these Indonesian forest fires are really miserably sad. Just how many trees are burnt, how many people die/are injured. How many lose their shelter, how many properties are destroyed, how many are further affected by its by-products like haze. Forget about that. How many people have been traumatised by all this suffering? How long exactly does it take for the affected to start leading their lives like before? A year? 2 years? 10 years? A lifetime?

You know the consequences of these unfortunate incidents. They know no boundaries, no race, no religion, no caste. All they have is an intention to cause harm to whoever is in its way. Thats why these natural disasters like Earthquakes, the Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina...in a way it brings people closer but in a really piercing way. Extremely bitter; extremely unforgettable.

And what it has inevitably lead to is a comparison of which country helped more during the other country's times of hardship when the disaster struck. And that has given rise to another set of bitter feelings. Its like...being back to Square One, isn't it? What a waste, okay not in the literal sense. It does provide a very effective short-term relief. You know when financial conditions are considered, 'NO' can never be an answer. But what does it do for the long-term cause??

Okay maybe i should just leave you people to ponder a little about this..hehe...

2006-10-05T16:45:00.000-07:00

Okay here i go promoting Daniel's blog again. But really, it was good, doubly good, ultra good! I can't believe it. This is the guy i knew for 2 whole years, completely jovial and always laughing his guts out(and in turn making me roll about laughing!!) and now the way he writes, shyt its amaazing! Every point of his strikes a chord. He just makes so much sense! He's still that cheerful and enthusiastic guy am sure (unlike me...i can be soo lackadaisical at times and all moody. boooo), but when he's serious, he sounds sane. No Dan you don't sound all that philosophical. U sound right :)
Ouch Dan, hats off to u dude!
Wow i can promote things very well right? Great! I'd love to be in the business sector anyway...so must know how to talk through things!
You know whats my expertise? I go for exams completely unprepared and expect to be amidst the toppers! Seriously.
Stupid right? I know. I can soo believe you if you call me idiotic.
But its not just once. It happens again and again, and when i finally hope that it has ended, it happens once again. Wow! Amaazing me. Must give credits to my persistent lazyness! Whats wrong? I mean how can i always manage to mess up my priorities? You know what? i love being THE best in whatever i do, completely indomitable. Especially in studies. People, whom i am supposed to perform better than, are easily sailing past me as though i don't even exist in the race! Have i become all that insignificant that noone even needs to bother that am still there?
Its high time i wake up. This is what my inner voice's telling me. No am not going nuts. Maybe i was nuts all along and am just starting to wake up now. I need others to feel that I am a threat! I mean thats whats called competition! I want people to be extra cautious when they hear that even I am competing! No don't mistaken me. Its Not unhealthy competition, neither is it me being overambitious. Am just realising what I truly want.
No am really not selfish and all but tell me, who in this world doesn't want to be the best? Yea maybe somewhere inside me I am a little bit of a perfectionist.
I think am overwhelmed with this upsurge of emotions. Okay just gotta listen to my heart and nothing else. When all else fails, the self prevails.
Waah not bad poetry eh? hehe crap! k then ppl bbye! wish u guys gd luck with your dreams :)

PS: Am not a nerd. But right now as a student, our lives do revolve a lot around studies. Just face it fellas! so i do think i made sense by only talking about studies. Oh btw, I'd also love to be a great CEO and writer years down the road :D

2006-09-22T14:26:00.000-07:00

hallo...
am penning this entry just with the intention of "updating" my blog....though no clue what good would that do to anyone...!?
its a bit of a rush now.....with both first sem exams and base test around the corner.....what more can i ever ask for right? i know! :)
just imagine.....if only exams could make one feel ebullient.....how would life be? nuts eh!??
and i need to improve my english!! desperately! i know this should be worrying me the least right now but aaaaahh heck that! My english sucks dammit! really sad.........
k no more random complaints for now......
tata

2006-09-16T16:55:00.000-07:00

Dahlia
must say this flower's somewhat close to my heart..
maybe 'cuz it holds one of the sweetest memories in my life??
yeah perhaps...

When i was in Nursery, we had this "flower dance", where by each one of us was a flower..lol!
obviously, i was Dahlia.
i think the teachers were a l'il partial to damn pretty gals.....made this gal a rose and erm....rose was/is considered a pretty flower and crap....and i was made Dahlia....lol
but am soo glad i wasn't one of the norm boring flowers.
and during the performance, we were supposed to place both our hands on our waist and bend our bodies once left and once right. sheesh i make it sound dumb eh!??
and i bent sooo much that my head literally touched the floor! yess!
and i was like.........damn energetic la...
and in the middle of the dance, i saw my sis......went running to the front just to wave at her!
whoaaa! i know must have lost my marbles to be waving at her...!!
shyt the whole thing is just sooo sweet. to me it is. stupidly sweet =)

and another fond memory....when i was made Cinderella. this was immediately after the flower dance......apparently the teachers found my action a l'il tooo cute =)
and i still have this particular pic...
where am holding hands with the prince....and beside me are my "evil" sisters and mum...
we were all posing for the pic....
and my messenger....he was closing his pant zip
.........
lol kids can be just sooo cute!

2006-08-29T00:10:00.000-07:00

oh yes i am in a writing mood!
okay not precisely. am basically in a crappy mood
Yes, with a bio test tomorrow
and knowing how 'wonderful' i am at Bio, just like u even i am wondering why am i online just to be typing this. but since i am, let me cut this pointless blabbering.

Daniel, you and your blog just brings so many memories flooding into my mind!
I just can't imagine how u guys are coping, what not with PW, GP and the normal core subjects.
and CCAs of course.
am already dying with school and tuition.
but i really wanna pursue so many more things.
u know sometimes i feel like i should have taken Liberal Arts just to increase my exposure towards literature and the like, since none in my family are from that niche.
I wanna learn both indian and western dance, classical music, zillions of musical instruments (guitar,violin, piano, tabla, drums just to name a few), improve my tending-towards-pathetic badminton & basketball skills, attend professional sketching classes, learn how to make all the kinds of chocolate cakes and cookies which exist, read books from a gazillion genres, familiarise myself with poetry esp from famous poets of each era, attend theatre classes, steal a long look at the original copies of the research journal papers, sneak into General Conference of Science (or whatever it might be called).
I wanna do loadsssssss of things.
am pretty glad i managed to go inside the Singapore Parliament (Istana) once. It was good, albeit bering boring and the norm. The security checks! oh man! it started beeping whenever a guy passed by! hehe ;)

it still haunts me
i can so see myself as a typical science person
and yet it occured to me again today
that i might perhaps have done well in Arts
=)

2006-08-23T00:33:00.000-07:00

Who Should Paint You: Alfred Gockel

All American yet funky, you inspire an artist's imagination
And while not everyone will understand your portrait, you will!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

Your Quirk Factor: 53%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.
Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I dunno, press the button and find out."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image.
On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex.
You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time.
Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

You Should Get a PhD in Science (like chemistry, math, or engineering)

You're both smart and innovative when it comes to ideas.
Maybe you'll find a cure for cancer - or develop the latest underground drug.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

You Are Artemis!

Brave, and a natural born leader.
You're willing to fight for what you believe in...
And willing to make tough decisions.
Don't forget - the people around you have ideas too!

What Goddess Are You?

2006-08-21T21:56:00.000-07:00

PS This is a long post so unless u have the patience/time/energy/mood/concern etc, don't bother reading at all.

when i am angry, its really bad!
and this time i do mean it when i say so.
those who have witnessed it know it the best

yea its true that i hardly used to get angry. in fact i don't even think any of my friends in S'pore ever saw me in a rage before.
but i get easily annoyed these days. and when it reaches its limit, i literally go mad, completely out-of-control.
and i also know that most of you see it as over-reaction and arrogance on my part.

But i tell u
when am seriously angry, i have a concrete reason to substantiate my reaction.
one thing i absolutely hate is when i haven't done anything wrong and yet everyone fails to believe me
i am a rebel inside-out.
if i don't get my space, thats it. everyone else's asking for trouble.
be it friends or parents or anyone else for that matter.

and yet i hold unshakable faith in myself.
u may see it as untolerable behaviour but just how the hell do i let u know that deep inside my intentions are completely devoid of any hard feelings towards anyone!??
honestly speaking, am sick and tired of this.
i know i can be really feeble-minded many times and all,
but please just let me be as i am.
anyway if i don't work hard, i am going to be the loser right?
and am damn scared of failures
and this convinces me that by hook or by crook, i'll get the desirable results at the end

so please leave me alone.
whoever it is addressed to will never even take a glance at this
but this is my plea
to everyone and God
give me guidance when i feel i really need it
motivate me
reward me
please please don't discourage and shun me away
don't attach labels which makes my self-esteem hit pit bottom

don't follow me
don't be ahead of me
just walk with me

2006-08-17T00:13:00.000-07:00

I just don't seem to get over my precious memories of the times spent in Singapore.
Call me weird or whatever u want but really, every teeny weeny thing somehow reminds me about something and there i go drifting into a past which i love sooooo much now! damn i miss u Singapore! with all the memories u hold, u're really priceless to me!
Its not that i don't love India. No way! Born Indian, will die Indian!! mera bharath mahan! * saying it with all pride and respect i can muster * hehe Excuse my hyperness. am still under post-independence day effect (btw God only knows whats that :) )
Don't know why but things aren't really helping me to move on. I mean my physical presence can be very much felt but even i myself feel many a times that mentally am very much lost in my own small world filled with lovely memories which i cherish oh so much!
And i find it kinda disturbing. dunno how but yes, disturbing.
Tell me why!!
I find it all so confusing. I mean since am already in India, i want to make a fresh start with new friends and all. yup thats happening. but something's terribly amiss!
Whats the missing piece of the Jigsaw???
I sooo want my life to be complete.
Help please!!

2006-08-11T22:46:00.000-07:00

This is a special dedication
to an instituition that started off with a humble beginning
and made its mark in its own outstanding way
by producing scholars and leaders;
moulding each and every one of its students into what they are today,
students who call this place their second home
to whom the school has gifted little
save memories
save passion and a willingness to learn
save a boundless respect for others and self
save a burning desire to prove ourselves
save those wonderful friends and teachers we met
save those precious moments of our lives
In short, it is a school like which none ever existed or will ever be born
It is Bukit Panjang Government High School (BPGHS)

As hard as it may seem to digest
news has spread like wildfire
the building that holds memories of generations after generations of Bpians
will be meeting its end soon
tears will flow
hearts will burn
chaos will arise
heads will turn

But there is something that we Bpians ought to let everyone know
that even if Nature's wildest forces were to destroy the physical aspects of BP
the BPian spirit will continue to live!

PUPIL'S CREED

We BPians,

the active heartbeat of the school and nation,

will strive for excellence in all our endeavours,

to bring glory to our school and nation.

We BPians,

will stand tall in the face of adversity,

and stay united in work and in play.

to contribute to the progress of our society.

We BPians,

will uphold family and national values,

with commitment and moral integrity,

to love and serve our school and family.

We BPians,

will venture into the realms of the Arts,

and voyage into the wonders of Science,

to emerge as a gracious and dynamic community.

2006-07-30T17:27:00.000-07:00

I guess the tone of my previous post was rather crude. Really sorry if anyone took any offense, 'cuz obviously I was really angry about the right people, ie people who deserve to be grounded!

Just re-realised I have so much work pending, and the list of tasks just keeps gaining an inch by the minute. Sigh. Life's not all play, unfortunately.

Going to do my Bio Project now. But there are way TOO many topics and I have way TOO little time. In God's name I pray. Amen :)

PS: I miss all my dearies Tons!
i wanna turn back time

2006-07-23T00:40:00.000-07:00

erm...
just read something and am all emotional now.
sheesh. why do so many sad things keep happening that when u just feel like smiling, something pricks you inside.
yes a real mood-spoiler!!
The bombay blasts. terrible terrible. Gosh i wish whoever sick people responsible for it go and rot in hell. nope in a worse place, if possible. God make them suffer atleast twice of the suffering they imposed on innocent travellers who'd have never even imagined it to happen in their nightmares. Yes! Revenge must, and i repeat MUST, happen. God make it fair.
Will u believe me if I tell u that some asshole spilled acid onto this girl just 'cuz she refused to marry him? It happened too damn recently for me to think twice about believing it. Thank God the girl has brains enough to say NO, knowing that that bastard was already married before. But poor her man; having a teeny-weeny drop of acid on ur little finger makes you scream nuts; heck that even dilute acid troubles ya so much, what about huge amounts of conc acid? Trust me if i ever wish to be a SuperWoman sometime, it is NOW! Just feel like murdering them!
Shyt these stuff piss me a Lot!
today wasn't a very 'peaceful' day for me. but ahh heck it, i don't feel like bringing it up. And hmm, i may be joining Nature club, only so that i won't miss out on the treks. I wanna go trekking and miss school. ha! :)
And u know what? People who don't make a damn contribution but open their mouths to just pass "resourceful" comments later piss me BIGTIME! No prizes for guessing that i'm pointing finger at someone or rather some people =)
Okay i think am just too bugged.
But otherwise I did manage to get some productive work done. One chem chapter done, but a hell more to go. =)
and u know something else? whenever you are seriously bugged, start finishing up your pending work. it really helps. like what i did today; picked up my math book and finished 4 friggin' sums in quite a short time. atleast i don't have to worry about them later. see such a smart girl i am :)
I know this isn't the usual way i write but as u can OBVIOUSLY see, am still pretty much bugged. So kindly try suppressing your sarcastic self and hmm, maybe u guys can just gimme a smile? that would really make my day! hehe :D
okays am off then. Take care dearies =)

2006-07-06T00:03:00.000-07:00

a big YAY!
tests just got over!
BASE test was like -- pathetic!?? i never expected anything better so forget it
But for a change, my pracs went pretty well. a 14.5 over 15 for Bio. haha weird huh? me and that much? sounds like polar extremes or something. but tut tut....thats life ;)
Chem was pretty good too. Our class had like mass cheating. but shhhh. actually like what Mr Brown rightly claimed in Angels and Demons, indeed "secrecy is a luxury we can no longer afford".
anyway i didn't cheat. me's a goodie two shoes remember? =)
A little uneasy about physics prac cuz i miraculously forgot how to use the micrometer screw gauge! gosh just feel like banging my head onto the wall or something! How can i forget it?? seriously dunno how i did so well for O level physics! maybe that was easy? shhh! lets just assume i was smart ;)
my EVS(environmental studies) marks!! ROFL! got a freaking 8 upon 15. Hey i passed! lol. i seriously don't think i give a shyt about it, erm pretend u didn't read anything i am not supposed to type =D
So hmm, there ends the tests thingy.

My school's just like a prison. yes thats the word. okay am not gonna start complaining again and bug u guys.

just a random thought. who do you think are generally smarter - guys or gals? naah please don't start defending you own gender. lets try taking a more, erm, unbiased stand.
Or can we even generalise?
Or perhaps if we look at the superficial level, girls do seem to perform better when it comes to literary and artsy stuff and things related to emotions and expressions. and guys are better at logic and reasoning? or maybe not!?
Sounds like an endless discussion, but interesting and thought-provoking no doubt.
Adios people =)

2006-07-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

been posting after long intervals i see...
some busy life
lets see what i have got for the upcoming week.....erm am including tomorrow as well..

Tomorrow - The Feared One -- BASE TEST!!
- am totally screwed

Monday - Biology Practical Test
- try imagining lotsa mugging up, esp the diagrams!!)

Tuesday - Physics Practical Test
- i still haven't mastered my Spherometer. whoever discovered it........BIG MISTAKE!! and an irritating one at that!

Wednesday - Chemistry Practical Test
- identifying acidic and basic radical in the given salt mixture. basic radical in lead. and acidic can be........carbonate?chloride?nitrate?acetate?

and i think from 7th or something we have our Theory papers for all the subs.
terrific ain't it?

otherwise life isn't all that bad. surprisingly passed my bio test with a miraculous 15 over 20. thats good considering me not studying at all & being the 2nd-highest. God's grace.
worried about Physics one though. it was no better than those at Base. serious. God's grace again pretty please!!?=)

sheesh my life seems to be revolving all around studies, like planets around the Sun. But hey Bohr proved electrons revolving around nucleus wrong by mentioning the stationary states and permitted orbitals. But alas the dual wave-particle nature of matter got him atlast! and then de Broglie arrives with his master equation, later followed by Schrodinger.

got what i meant? I've gone nuts!!

2006-06-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

hey guys!
the simple reason for me not updating my blog was i couldn't have proper access to net at my own convenience. dad had to bring the laptop home or else i'd have to go to a cybercafe on the roadside. and i have always had a BAD image of those cybercafes. ugh!
so whats up? talking about my life here...
school staff are nuts esp the teachers. they treat us like some kiddos, literally calling us "children". i mean cmon, the best way to make one shoulder responsibility is by treating them as if they can handle them. i seriously have started feeling like a little kid. am getting spoiled. ha! =)
and they lose their cool for like no damn reason. and this teacher, she's kinda okay but she gets all weird at times. seriously, the word 'damn' coming out of her mouth sounds downright hilarious. talk to me sometime. i'll update you on all kind of crap she says. esp this particular female. she can go on and on while giving a speech until somebody actually faints. ahha..
oh ya! for the purpose of confidentiality, names of the above institutes and people will not be mentioned. and the above information is highly classified. so you guys better keep your mouths shut about it, am right there ya!? =)
my class is alright. can get really fun at times. yes mainly cuz of the guys! i don't know why but it just so happens that its usually guys who end up saying things which gets the whole class rolling about in laughter. awesome! i LOVE laughing. :D
today i went for a motivational talk(everyone of us at BASE tuition had to!) and am seriously enlightened. nope no sarcasm trust me. its high time i pull up my socks, and really high at that too! yup am going to enjoy my learning journey. not going to give a damn to other distractions, hopefully
and yes, missing you guys out there at Sing as norm. i love my friends' circle man! am damn blessed! may God bless you guys loads.
take care all my dearS out there!

2006-04-28T21:06:00.000-07:00

just now i felt like i had been sitting inside a pressure cooker. everything just whizzed past me. seriously i spent almost the whole day sitting alone. left,right,in front, behind-- 4 walls thats it. really felt like just running away from the home. i mean of course not of any personal reason but just that its sickening to be seeing walls everywhere.

talked to mum on phone a while ago. really its amazing isn't it? how at home you argue with your mum over each and every small matter, atleast i did. right from sitting properly on the sofa to keeping my room messy and not helping out in the household chores.
now that am away from my mum, our conversations are so sweet. its like our way of communicating to each other has changed totally. yet i feel that there's this certain closeness in those arguments, a special mum-daughter relationship embedded disguised behind those bitter words exchanged and those foul moods. arguments just bring people closer or so i've started to believe. and absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder. i am experiencing it.

again a word to all my loved ones in s'pore, am missing you people a lot! cherish those memories that we have left with us. memories can create wonders; it can help a widow spend the rest of her life with her husband's memory, it can bridge the present gap between acquintances and friends, and it takes you along to a past which can't be imitated.

2006-04-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

India won the cricket series against England , 5-1.
Awesome ya?? what a good thing to start off with :D
I really like the way Dhoni plays. Really good man. You should watch his strokes.
In fact his very attitude is admirable. Bold and fearless.
The banner "dhoni, dho dal" still tickles my funny bone. Isn't it hilarious?? heeheehee :D
I bet Dhoni now resides in the good books of every Indian. At least he does in mine...hehe

Really missing you guys out there in S'pore. And people didn't even know i had actually left. Sad right?? okay i promise next time we get to say a proper farewell.
Sheesh this is getting emotional now. But i really really do miss you guys.
When am down in S'pore, make sure I get to meet each and every one of you alright.
i don't wanna miss any single one of you! really...
Especially people like Michelle, SJ, Tingting, Daniel, Ade, Garima - U better not forget to meet me atleast once okay! or elsE.....
haha no but i seriously wanna meet as many people as i can.
yes yes am looking forward to it =)

well i don't feel like crapping now.
yes yes don't be surprised. i don't *always* crap u know! :)
bbye then. adios ~

2006-04-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

In 2 years to come, i want to get admission into IIT.
Did u hear that??
I don't care.
I may not be that intellectually capable/disciplined/focussed/hardworking/what not
I want a seat in IIT!!!!!!!
I congratulate Base for successfully managing to brainwash me to clear IIT-JEE.
thanks man! now i can't see myself loving any other instituition other than IIT.
awesome right?
And I don't wanna go IIT because of the engineering course or what not.
I wanna go because of the fame and prestige associated with it.
Now c'mon am sure deep down inside every IIT aspirant, U wanna be there for that 'brand' name isn't it?
yes I just voiced it out. Call me narrow-minded for all i care, am being frank in my opinion.
God please please give me enough determination to clear IIT-JEE.
I can So see myself amost there.
Please please.
let me have enough self-discipline and determination to make it through.
God please.......
okay now i declare myself obsessed.
goodbye, all you sane citizens of this world.

2006-04-07T23:13:00.000-07:00

yea i know many of you don't know this so here I am posting it on net...
am in India and most likely am not returning to S'pore, as what i had thought earlier. Lots and lots of things have cropped up; my tuition's starting really soon and dad doesn't want me to miss any single class and so do i, i guess.
to my friends to whom i promised am coming back, u guys definitely know who you are, : am terribly sorry for this. never did i guess that the last time i'd be seeing u at all was before 30th march. hopefully i can come along with my dad in May when we have to start packing and stuff. I really really want to see you guys. In fact my primary reason for wanting to return to S'pore is u people. damn! i wish i can tell u how much i miss u guys!!
well other than that, am starting to get used to this place. Am in the bustling and happening city, Bangalore. Have loads of places in B'lore am yet to explore. oh yes! and the city just seems to be getting more and more crowded!! not to my liking, if u ask me... but oh well, u can't have a cake and eat it too!??!
Last but not least, actually i should have said this the very first thing but nevermind, I'd like to wish my mum and dad a very very happy marriage anniversary. may God bless you both =)

2006-03-26T23:17:00.000-08:00

this is what i truly need need. people please pray for me can?
pretty please =)

something that i strongly started feeling for:
If you don't know, go learn. Don't use ignorance as an excuse

2006-03-25T17:25:00.000-08:00

So many little things have happened that obviously i can't be dwelling into them all.
But,
i got 2 people to be really grateful to.

Yuting:
Thanks a lot darling for that long call. u know very well what am talking about right. I really needed to spill out all my feelings; i just can't bottle them up. And just when i was thinking of who to ring, u were the first person i thought of. really. I guess we're a lot more than just good friends and desk partners. U made me feel so much better!!! Plus we are so similar in a lot of ways right...like not being so outgoing and being really crappy and talkative around people we really know well. Well nevermind all that; u'll always be my dearest tingting =) thank you hun!

Garima:
What not have we been mistakened for -- sisters, cousins, maybe even twins! haha. Like i told ya, hindi sch ppl we know from the primary school days always always see us together! I guess they must be wondering like we're inseparable or what! lol. I think i just can't find enough words to describe our relationship. i mean i know this sounds so cliche but see it has a point. We can be soo So silly(remember the 'cham cham cham' dance in your room? and the 'eli re eli' imagination thingy!) and yet we can talk about really serious and intense issues(like the gender discrimination thingy & how men are kind-of always looking for ego-boosters, just now in the library) and we can laugh at any random thing(like that almost prostitute-like dressed woman in the train. ohmegosh! haha...). So much of our style of thinking is similar, like how liberal some of our thoughts can be and so on. May our friendship survive many more years. yay =D

Hindi school today was as boring as ever. 46/60 for the first CA. My worst performance so far & just behind the highest in my class by 1 mark. haha we're so 'pro' right? sigh! really disappointing u know.....hindi is meant to be a scoring subject =(

Hey guess what's one the best news i've received in the last week? I grew by 1 cm, the first ever indication of any increase in my height ever since like maybe 2 years or something? yay!!!! i feel so tall now =)

felt really irritated about the gender discrimination thing! how can men just assume that women are like some fragile little dolls and they need their support in order to survive at all??? My foot la!

to someone who wouldn't ever read this anyway: Do i look like i sat for tamil O levels and got a C6???? cmon yo! =(

2006-03-21T20:57:00.000-08:00

Hey Ade! Oh yes! The holi celebration was pretty fun. Since we turned up late, there wasn't much time left for us to play around with the colours and stuff. Plus when it came to dancing time, i felt like so stiff. My body suddenly got very rigid and i danced, then stopped, danced a teeny-weeny while, stopped again and the cycle continued. Sheesh i bet i looked damn silly -_- [anyway i know u dance very pro la ;)]

Nevermind..

but yes i prefer last year's one. Atleast i had a group of friends to stick around with =)

Yes I finally got to know my class. Am in 1SA2. Supposedly one of the best classes in Ac for science stream. but hey my class hates PE and doing homework. hurray!! =D I haven't really set my mind onto which cca to join. Tomorrow there's Debate audition and erm yes am going for it.(my classmates actually think am the debater-kind-of-person. whoops can u believe that??)
Ac debate team is like the best among the JC teams and thats like....hurhur! there's like really slim chances of me being chosen but hmm, whats the harm in trying right? Atleast i don't have to have any sorts regrets later. So yes, all the best for me ya? I would love to be in the debate team though. I think its damn cool! And Drama is fun too. but again, Ac drama is like damn good i think and definitely has lots of people from DEP (must be la!!). And actually Air Rifle sounds cool as well ya? although i have no teeny weeny bit of experience or any clue about it. HA~

Talking about teachers...
my current math tutor, erm don't really know her that well so am kinda neutral here. My physics tutor!! uhuh Boring! really monotonous. She even scolds in a low and draggy voice , can u believe it? gosh! and the teacher in charge of my class actually teaches Chinese so lol i don't think he would even get to know me well. Sigh. My Econs tutor really makes me laugh a lot, although at times he can be really sarcastic and condescending. but in the light-hearted way of course. and in the very first tutorial today, he kind of memorised our names and wrote them on the board. Then he spelled my name as "Appita".

Tutor: Appita right?
Me: erm..its 'A.R.pita'
Tutor: oh R is it? ok nevermind ah, sounds the same
Me(thinking to myself): ??Wth??

lol. yes thats what went on =)

Met this senior in 900 bus. Saw her a few times last year as well and all the while, i thought she's in Innova jc, 'cuz of her uniform.

during the conversation..
Me: So how's Innova?
She: Innova??
Me: ya you're in Innova right?
She: oh noo am in Nanyang
Me:oh really? all while i thought u're in Innova cuz of the uniform
She: oh ya i know its a bit similar
Me(with a really 'kuku' look): Oh am really sorry huh...
She: nevermind nevermind its ok =)

another lol. but she's very nice =)

hopefully i can wear Ac uni tomorrow. yay =)

i know this is a damn long entry. Whoever managed to get till here-- Congrats! your patience level rocks like anything man!! =D

2006-03-18T22:29:00.000-08:00

First & foremost, Happy 17th birthday deareast YuTing!! May god bless ya loads =)

sometimes i feel that am the smartest person around! dang!!
i took care to wake up early in the morning to make sure i reach hindi school on time, which i did actually! and tadaaaaa! there's nobody from my class besides me. Vaishnavi turns up in a short while and together we discover that indeed there's no lessons today. Why? because its Holi Celebrations. and this kind of things have happened to me like more than 2 times already. So smart right? Bugger!
Really feeling like such an idiot i tell u! for once i actually reached school on time. now thats really an achievement for me u know! stupid stupid thing to happen first thing in the morning!
am excited. no Not because of that little 'adventure' to hindi school. of course not!
Am going for holi celebrations later today. oh by the way, its today evening at about 4pm and is a short walk from Ferrer Park. Tickets are at $5, inclusive of i think colour powders and quite a number of stuff. Everybody is welcome to join in the festive occassion =)
For the benefit of our non-Indian counterparts, let me introduce the Indian festival-- Holi. Its a festival where even enemies become friends,supposedly. Basically its a really joyous occassion. Lets skip the origin of it ya? lets move on to the fun part =D
Its celebrated with lots of colours - colour powders, coloured water, water bombs (basically all the fun things). So in the end we are expected to get thoroughly drenched and coloured beyond recognition! haha.
Last time i went to the one near Kallang organised by the Singapore Gujrati Association. Yes we had lots and LOTS of fun!! And yes i got really wet and smeared with colours as well! but hey! i was spared being smeared with wet mud, which some lucky(i mean unlucky=p) people experienced. Some guys turned up in school uniforms- white shirt & white pants - and yes they didn't escape the colours either. Literally everybody was targetting the relatively-cleaner people. God knows who-who i smeared with colours. hehe =D
So am definitely hoping today's one would be equally fun, if not better. Actually it would be really cool to involve non-Indians in the celebration as they would get to take in all the fun first-hand. But sadly i couldn't inform my friends earlier. Its kind of a last minute thing for me.
Anyway yes yes yes am hoping it would be lots of fun.....and would make up for such a miserable thing to happen right in the early morning -_-

2006-03-17T00:51:00.000-08:00

Oh no!
I don't like complicated things
I hate having to think for long and deep
I hate not being able to arrive at the right conclusion
BUT
i know that it isn't as hard as it seems
its within my reach
it needs a bit more effort and new way of thinking
SADLY
I ain't able to trigger off the creative juices
The stupid question stares me directly in the face
I feel really stupid
HOPEFULLY
life isn't as sad as it appears now
there's still a glimmer of hope
a sense of achievement can still be achieved

now i know why so many people dropped Econs after first 3 months in Ac. And i bravely proceeded to upgrade it from H1 to H2. clever me!

but am not others. and what may seem difficult in the beginning is just an introduction to a challenge - to struggle a little and then emerge fresh and stronger

Yes every obstacle just makes you tougher

2006-03-12T13:30:00.000-08:00

Well a number of things have happened over the past few days. I shall try penning them down!

First and foremost, YES i managed to crash Pj campfire together with Wen hua. Cool isn't it?? Well after all crashers were indeed tolerated, as i heard and also saw with my own eyes - so many of them, so many Bpians(i mean Ex-bpians. whatever) in fact. What more can i ask for?:)

The campfire was alright, except that we didn't really dance around the campfire and stuff which we did in Bp. I mean thats what campfire is all about isn't it? It was like, the fire was burning by itself in the middle and people were busy doing their own stuff. Hardly anybody seemed to have noticed the existence of the fire, except perhaps those rare moments trying to keep the fire raging. And no 'father abraham' and 'friendship dance' =(

But well nevermind, I got to see quite a number of my Ex-classmates from 06S12! And also lots of Bpians of course. Yea the Mass dance & Fun dance was fun, the latter being more fun as norm. We Bpians did a BP cheer at the end, a pretty loud one at that! Ah yes; the Bp spirit lives on ~

Yesterday I went to see this rugby match at Padang, Acjc Vs Rjc & Acjc Vs SA, with Adeline. Yes AC thrashed them all!! Well our Ac rugby guys are damn well-built! So yea, happy for them and the college =) Afterwards me and Adeline did a lot of window shopping. Went Starbucks and treated our tastebuds to this mouth-watering chocolatey Muffin. Yummy!!

At about 8:30pm yesterday, i spontaneously decided to go for a run. In total I ran a distance of about 2.8 km. Not bad la, for a start after not running for don't-know-how-long. Yea i skipped a lot of those Pj late afternoon PE sessions where we had to run. hehe :D

Am all ready for a fresh start at Ac, just a bit nervous though. I guess because everything is so so new! Nevermind, as even somebody reknown believes,
"change is the only constant in the world"

So yes, all set to conquer. The Best is Yet to Be. =)

2006-03-10T13:09:00.000-08:00

Acjc orientation 2 was rather boring and dry. only 2 days, what do you expect???
But my OG people are really nice and friendly. =) 3 cheers for them ya?
Then the Acjc mass dance is really really complicated and looks damn professional! But its really hard to learn, especially for us,the 2nd in-takers. And i went away for a while when they were teaching the dance sooo, double trouble! The games were alright. Didn't involve getting really really muddy and dirty. I heard that orientation 1 was much more fun, no doubt! The theme of the whole orientation(both 1 and 2) about the Lossehelins' is damn nice! Am in Carnsir. Carnsir rocks; i guess its one of the loudest when it comes to cheering. *we are gonna send a probe to Uranus* ( yea only Acsians would make sense out of this, not to worry =) )
My lectures at Acjc have already started. I am going to take 4 H2 - Math, Chem, Physics, Econs
Lectures at Ac have been alright so far. Ac hall is like damn big, like really BIG! and very very nice of course. I just have a feeling that all those teachers and staff at Ac love to talk a lot. Our assembly is always s t r e t c h e d !
Acjc building looks really cool! Yea overal Acjc is really nice =)
Crashed Pjc with some fellow Acsians. Wow they are like damn strict with crashers i tell you. Hopefully can make it for the pjc orientation 2 campfire tonight. Fond memories u know. Please let us go pj ok? we really won't create too much of noise or havoc, promise! *smiles innocently*
(anyway we were keeping a low-profile last time you know!!) yea thats it for now. will update on more issues later. have a great weekend ahead people :)

2006-03-04T17:12:00.000-08:00

Am going to Acjc.
Yes am disappointed that although my raw L1R5 is 7 points, with one bonus point my total score is 6 points, i can't make it to Njc. Njc cut-off for science stream is partial 5, i think one of the lowest total score Njc has ever seen. Amazing. The demand for Njc is super high now, what not with Raffles and Hwa Chong engaging in the the through-train programme.

Anyway Acjc isn't that bad too i guess, yup. I do know Bpians there. Anyway since in about 1-2 months time i'll be packing my stuff to leave for India, it doesn't exactly matter.
I didn't get into Njc and the fault lies with me. I slacked all the way from secondary 3 onwards and therefore my prelim results Suck big-time! Could have stayed on at Njc if i had gone there for first 3 months. I learn one important lesson a very hard way : Be consistent & Be Focussed.

Since am going Acjc now, might as well go there with an open-mind and be optimistic.
To all those who didn't get into their first choices, don't be upset. It really doesn't help now. Wherever you are, continue to work hard and U'll reap what you sow. Yup.
Okays then bye people. To all my friends already in Acjc, i'll be seeing you guys on monday i guess =)

2006-03-02T21:11:00.000-08:00

This poem is about Indira Gandhi, Prime Minister of India until her assassination, and the feelings the people of the Indian community had for her

For Indira Gandhi

You let the hawk in you
Break loose.
That, you seemed to think,
Would bring the dove back
To a disastrous sky,
Perhaps you stood too firm
And so were unbalanced
When you tried to throw
A lariat over a lion’s head.

Your wanted the garden whole.
What you saw as weeds
Might only have been flowers
Of a different kind:
And the wild horses
That would not be stabled
Nor join the herd
Were perhaps lions
That would have given too many tears.

For some, Indira,
You still are,
A bright mark in the sky, your memory
A suddenly appearing star
In their heart’s gloom.
For others, you were
The sky’s starring sore,
The sore only
Hate’s keen surgery
Could have removed.

Rain cloud in drought,
Or monsoon,
Sore or star,
You make your mark high,
Upon the heavens.
You were spectacular, and when you fell, all looked
Your way
Again, and wondered.

Michael Aarons

2006-03-01T15:52:00.000-08:00

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk.
You should major in:
PhilosophyMusicTheologyArtHistoryForeign language

What Should You Major In?

Haha! and what am i currently taking??
Physics, Chemistry, Math and Economics.
haha so totally opposite!

Arpita, your best quality shines through in how Intelligent you are
The fact that you're a smart person who is more able to understand complex concepts than many other people are really draws people to you! But that's not the only thing. Your answers on the test indicate you're a calm, relaxed person who tends to take life in stride. You are psychologically and emotionally stable and better able than most people to tolerate even the roughest situations, too.In all, there are 15 qualities that help define you when you're at your best. Those are the traits potential employers, friends, and partners look for in you. What makes you unique is your particular distribution of those 15 qualities.We've found that your particular combination of qualities is rare — only 5 in 10,000 people share the same general mix of traits. Those are great odds if you're trying to show a potential employer, colleague, friend, or date why you're exactly the right person for them
http://web.tickle.com/tests/qualities/result.jsp

Am intelligent! Hurray =) ya right.

2006-02-27T16:45:00.000-08:00

My chemistry is so damn screwed i tell you!
We started off a new chapter recently (umm ok not that recently after all. anyway thats not the point.) And am already in a daze because some of the points just leave my mind in a whirlpool of terminology. I mean its really HARD to differentiate between some things. And well if you end up mixing them up, like what i end up doing at times, its all absobloodylutely irritating!!! thats because what you had assumed for quite some time just turns out to be all wrong in less than a second. How COOL is that huh!!!
Thats not it. The worst part is yet to make its mark.
My chem practical is getting from HORRIBLE to HORRIBLE-BEYOND-WORDS-CAN-EVER-DESCRIBE!!!!!
I thought a C- in the first prac was sick enough. Now i got a D. like what the hell!? Am already disappointed enough for getting an A2 instead of an A1 for the O's. and now this. Like why is my chem really being screwed up? Ok now i never claimed to be some genius when it comes to pracs but a D????? Like do i really need to be made to feel so damn stupid!!!? huh? *sobs =(
I really can't believe this you know. My chem prac actually makes me feel like getting rid of the whole subject itself. Gosh how can i ever think of that??? Its a sin to even allow such horrible thoughts to reside in my mind. I've become a sinner =(
okay i know now am talking like some mad freak. see this is what bad grades do to me. sigh sigh sigh. Life is one big SIGH.

2006-02-22T19:31:00.000-08:00

Basically life at my side has been going in a very routine style. The same old tutorials and lectures, getting home feeling really tired for no reason, feeling easily bugged and easily catching the 'boredom' bug. Sigh.

For once am guilty of not paying attention in a chem lecture. Thus till now am still a little blur about it. I had told myself to go home and look through my notes so that i can catch up but i conveniently forgot to do that. Even though i have sort-of caught up with the pace now, the guilt still remains. I better look through it again to ensure i understand it well and try to reduce the guilty feeling, knowing perfectly well that it can never be eradicated.

Just realised that a lot of people around me are staying back at pjc. Am not. Now what can i say? Am definitely going to miss lots of fellow J1s.And certainly some of my tutors, eg Mdm Ang and Mr Koh. And Mrs Tong too! haha! =D I really hope i can get into Njc. Pray for me yea? =)

But i wonder, for how long would i miss them? Remember all those times when we used to say "friends forever" like a nonstop tape-recorder, how true is it? Is our friendship as strong as it was before, and can we guarantee its survival as we step into an entire new surrounding to make our mark!? Can we? "Out of sight, out of mind".... isn't it? or is it?

Okay as you can see, a lot of random thoughts are going through my mind. Guess i shall just let things take their natural course. Change, we shall conquer.

"Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better. "
King Whitney Jr.

2006-02-18T16:32:00.000-08:00

What makes you trust people?
I just want to know, thats it.
Although i can be really egotistical and selfish on many occasions, i do feel a little insecure and curious at times. I mean, don't you wonder at any time who's talking behind your back? I do.
To me, its very important to know as much as possible about the 'real' sides of the people i know. Just mentioning a person and your views about him/her in conversations with others isn't backbiting. Talking bad AnD only bad things about the person behind the person's back Is indeed bitching!
And I go a lot by my instincts. And yes right now my instincts do make me feel that some people, who may talk to me very nicely and with a oh-so-sweet-smile on their faces, are actually bitching behind my back. But its just my feelings so i can't exactly go and confront them yet.
But u know how that makes me feel? That makes me feel really proud of myself. I know myself the best and I know that whatever am doing is perfectly right. So if somebody has probs with me, they're just jealous of me. Poor things u guys if u belong in that category. I just can't help pitying you. Your life is really sad. sigh..
And i've seen through many people's characters and i must say that i love them for who they are. To others who don't know them well, they may sound really arrogant and all. But i do know them quite well(especially my best friends) and i got to say as individuals, they're wonderful. Honest and straightforward, just like me.
Had wanted to post a similar entry for quite some time so here it is. Since am done with it, might as well get goin' now. Have a good day people =)

2006-02-14T16:10:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, Happy Valentine's Day everybody =D
Garima came to my house on my birthday. Although i make a lousy host, we did have a great time together! Thats primarily because we are best friends and best friends don't need a place, time and topic to talk - we can talk non-stop anytime & anywhere. Yea we guys just rock! =)
Anyway the previous entry was penned by her. Ha! So ya, thanks a lot for making the visit bulz. It had indeed been quite a long time since you had come to my house. In fact ever since we shifted into this new house like about 3 years ago, u hadn't come at all! sad! well anyway now u did!! yay :)
Thanks a lot michelle for wishing me! As i said, it rocks to be both Feb babies!!
Hmm i ain't doing anything special today. Don't exactly see any reason to. Don't know why everybody gets so crazy today! What not with prices of roses rising by like goddamn 10 times?? Whoaa! Well although i wouldn't exactly mind receiving chocolates(hint hint), I do really feel that its the thoughts that count, no matter how cliche i may sound right now.
Anyway I don't have much to pen down now. So adios people. Have a great day ahead! =)

2006-02-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

Hello all you happy people of this world (: how are you all doing? I am very happy today, so is Arpita, so it is a command to all you sad people out there to be happy. Just for us (:

Bye! Garima (:

2006-02-12T15:19:00.000-08:00

Happy 17th Birthday to me!

Well, so i officially turned 17 now. Mum told me I was born at about 2:30pm. Now's 3:08pm. :)

No special plans for today. Actually sometimes i don't understand why birthdays are SO special. As in it is special i know, but everybody seems to be exaggerating it and making it sound so much more significant. May be it is. I don't know. To me its just another day when i was born in 1989. And another day which reminds me i've grown older by a year yet again. Hmm...

Am not exactly happy with my O level results. My mind is preoccupied with hundreds of questions and my own scary responses to them. So well yea this is a critical moment i'll say, especially since i haven't yet applied for JAE. I don't exactly have so much of a choice, in the sense that my results control my options and not the other way round. sad.

However definitely its so much of an improvement. from 15 to 7. But deep down i know this isn't the limit of my potential. In fact the potential of a person has no limits. It all depends on our effort and hard work. And i didn't put in enough hard work. 7A1s were within my reach. I lost them and now i can't do anything about it.

Anyways may you all have a great year ahead. God bless ya all!

2006-02-10T23:11:00.000-08:00

Hmm. O level results have been released!
I got 5A1s and 4A2s. A L1R5 of 7 points. Was called up on the stage by my school, but let me be upfront about it. Am studying in a top class in a top school. Agreed? yea so lets move on...
Some of my darling friends got like freakin' 8 and 9 A1s! Now tell me about it! I mean I also did well, i don't deny that. But about my A2s in Biology and Chemistry, I could have definitely gotten A1s for them. I mean I have never scored less than an A1 for my Chemistry ever before in school. I got an A2! Its horrible. Don't tell me its not. You're lying. Don't lie!!

But am definitely Very happy for my friends. Congratulations darlings! You've done 4T2 and BP very very proud. Love you guys!

As for me, hmm i really don't know what to say. 7 points is not bad but personally i feel that 5A1s is quite pathetic. Really sorry daniel, michelle and all...i don't mean to imply anything. Am just trying to be honest with myself and let you guys see the real side of me. I cannot put on a facade. I cannot pretend. Really sorry guys if i sounded rude.

But yea on a whole we all did well. Congrats to the graduating classes of BPGHS of 2005. Even Mr Tan said that we proved to the school that we deserved to have such a grand Prom Night. We rock! Really guys we do. =)

I met up with the teachers. They were all really nice. Mr Chin was in a hurry but he said he's really happy for me because i scored an A1 for Physics. Am really proud of myself for that. I mean imagine...am one of the lowest in my class for physics. And I've never ever scored an A1 for physics before. yay =D

Well actually yesterday i had a dream that i scored 7 points for my L1R5. dream come true:) Well was wondering would it be a Birthday nightmare or a Birthday gift. Guess what is it now? A birthday Confusion!!

Anyway, congrats everyone. No matter what u have got, don't fret over it. Nothing can be changed now. Lets move on and work even more harder next time!

2006-02-08T15:56:00.000-08:00

Does trying not to think about it help, especially when deep down inside you do know very well that you can't erase that thought from your memory; you can't do anything to stop it from bothering you; you're helpless in front of it...

I tried not to think about it, digressing as and when i possibly could. Every time the thought came to me, my heart sank. The million 'if's that originate from it has the potential to paralyse my brain. You can try hiding from your fears, from external threats, avoid taking the risky path. What can you do about your inner feelings? thoughts that can make you paranoid? that you get obsessed with involuntarily? What can you do about them?

How can i possibly try hiding from myself?

I'm confused, scared, anxious, disturbed. I'm unsettled. I'm waiting....

2006-02-05T17:52:00.000-08:00

Your Mood Ring is Light Blue

Emotions mixedUnsettledCool

Mood Ring Generator

My sis got me to try some CBSE math questions. I tell u, I am feeling damn stupid right now! I can't believe it that am a J1 student. I feel like i should be starting over secondary school again, because atleast judging from my math standard, it's disastrous! Who allowed me to do J1 !??

Okay maybe its just that the Indian CBSE math standard is damn difficult. And its very different from what we learn here. I guess thats whats adding on to the already-high standard of difficulty. And the worst thing is---- calculators aren't allowed! Holy crap!!!! Now i don't know what am i supposed to be feeling right now. Well atleast that does justify why Indians(from india) are so damn good at Math. yup am totally not surprised now. damn! :)

Okay so am kind of 99% assured now that am going to have a hell of a horrible time trying to cope with the new syllabus there. ahha cool! this SO totally rocks. yay :) Am seriously emotionally-disturbed. I hate it whenever am made to feel intellectually-inferior. like now. I don't like losing out. oh yea who does. But i don't care about others, mainly 'cuz i already have more than enough on my plate to worry about.

To hell with Math for now. I think am off making Kulfi. sounds delicious :)

God bless ya all. Tata

[PS I got 18/24 for my history quiz by the way. Not bad yea? :)]

2006-02-01T17:39:00.000-08:00

How You Life Your Life

You tend to deprive yourself of things you crave, for your own good.You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Am feeling really sleepy!
Sometimes I feel there's no point in me trying to mug up the S'pore History notes. I mean 6 pages! Dates! Names! not-touched-History-since-Sec-2!! I can finally pick up enough confidence to say am 100% thankful (and glad) for not taking history after sec 2! Strictly no offence to history-lovers, as i know many of you are, I just cannot stand the subject! Its plain boring, in the very sense that it literally drives me to sleep. And memorising dates? 2 major events happened on 1 April, but the gap in the years is huge! Now can u blame me if i mix them up? Duhh No! :-/
Actually come to think of it, even Geography sounds better than History. And thats saying something! But Geog is a pure mugging subject as well! Boo :( Econs sounds alright. A lot of grasping-the-essential-concept kind of stuff. But its STILL an Arts Subject so will STILL have to write essays and essays and more essays. Life is sad :(
That way, Math sounds good. Just know the basic formulas and calculate your way through! Heck the essays and projects! Its Graphing calculator Dude!B-) But oh yes, big numbers do tend to get on people's nerves easily. But well atleast there's only ONE answer. I absolutely HATE it when in English Literature lessons teachers tell me that in Lit, there's no right or wrong answer. I mean Halooo sir if thats the case, then why do u guys end up telling me 'thats not the answer we are looking for'. If you are indeed Looking for a specific type of answer, doesn't it mean that that's the so-called accepted/right/correct answer? Why can't i approach the Question from MY perspective and substantiate the answer with the required evidence?? i totally HATE this bit about literature, and any other subject which will repeat this scenario. i HATE it! Grrrr. Its just like contradicting yourself. Why make a statement when all you are going to do at the end is prove your initial stand wrong and then leave everybody in a big mess of confusion!?? Irritating freaks!! X(
Okay now honestly even i am a bit perplexed as to why I have started talking about subjects. Since I already am, let me go on :p
Chemistry so far is ok-ok. Some questions do make me think a little but so far, I've only not been able to solve one question. That too after I was taught how to start off with the question. Its not that i didn't try! I tried till I was all so #$^$&@! But i failed and am as lost as ever before. And my latest discovery is that I'm not even able to start off with Tutorial Id, the last tutorial of the chapter. I feel like such an idiot! How can i get stuck in Chemistry? Something's terribly gone wrong! :(
Math is okay. Actually I do manage to understand it but the way i behave, people would think I have just begun my math course to learn numbers 1-10!! But yea at the end of tutorials, am pretty fine. But there's still room for improvement so must keep on aiming higher:) To be honest, I don't exactly like any of the Math lecturers. Their pace is pretty fast. Maybe its me who needs to quicken up My pace. maybe...
Physics is alright. I still have a tendency to end up miraculously in a daze even when my concept is crystal-clear at the beginning. But still cope-able. I like my tutor, he does clear up some of my doubts. I prefer physics tutorials to lectures. I truly feel like a puppet amidst hundreds of others, lost in the face and waiting for directions, when am sitting in a lecture theatre. I guess the shock of sitting with hundreds others in the same place has still not worn off completely. So yea, am slow :) And i'll admit that.
Gosh am typing a lot. Let me bring this to an end so that I can carry out my initial plan of taking a nap and then resuming my revision for the history Quiz.
So much for being sleepy!

2006-01-21T17:52:00.000-08:00

Well I went to see some sort of International Debate Championships, hosted at Serangoon Junior College. It was Semi-finals. Pakistan against New Zealand & the other one was Singapore against Australia. New Zealand & Australia are going to meet each other in the Finals now, which is hosted at Anglo-Chinese Junior College.
The debate was indeed interesting, although I had little knowledge on the topic of content. The motion of the debate was something like "This house would refuse to trade arms with non-democratic countries". Honestly when I first saw this motion written on the board, my mind went blank. I was like WTH!?? The debate had alreday started when we reached SRJC and as i tried to keep up with the speakers, I slowly started comprehending bits and pieces of the big picture. The most amazing thing was, this debate was kind-of impromptu in the sense that each debate team had only one hour beforehand to prepare for the debate. So in other words, they weren't aware of the motion! So it was actually all based on their general knowledge. And Oh Man! With the masterpiece they came up with, it's indeed admirable. Well anyway they represent their countries, so i bet they are professional debaters! So yea, its kind of expected of them to be good!! The one we saw was Pakistan against New Zealand.
The Pakis were GOOD man! Real good! And the most amazing thing was, they actually managed to reach out to us. They even managed to make me understand the gist of what it was all about! Their tone was perfect! They were expressive. And yea, they were the Proposition team. Their main argument was around these lines: Democratic countries have shown themselves to have a tendency to make the right decisions. And that democracy is a yardstick to judge whether a country should be allowed to trade arms with.
The main argument of the New Zealand team was....well, quite the opposite of the paki team. That democracy was NOT the only criteria. But as far as what we heard, we don't remember them listing the other criteria specifically. Well honestly some of them just didn't manage to capture my attention for more than 3 mins straight at most, so my thoughts kept drifting off mid-way. Yea maybe that's why when we all thought that the Pakis were clear-cut winners, they actually lost. =( am seriously depressed!Anyway regardless of the verdict, they did an awesome job. No denying that. And they even praised India! *grins* No seriously they did! Heeeheeheee =D
I actually wanted to keep this post short,really! But ahh look at the outcome. I always end up writing loads! But i will get going now. Have to deal with GP drama. And how can i forget my lovely set of tutorials anyway!??
Homework--- here i come :)

2006-01-16T23:26:00.000-08:00

this is my OG picture! (OG07)

A big Hallo to each and every soul out there =)

I know i haven't updated for so long, and yes it's indeed partly not my fault. The perfect example of advanced technology-- Computer!! My internet connection didn't work for like 4 days and when we finally called in the techno guy today, he clicked the 'connect' button AND it connected!! Miracle! He must have had some...u know....what u call it 'magical touch'. Anyway whatever it is, he still needs to get paid! Boo :( [trying HARD to 'always look on the bright side of life']. But hey it wasn't from my pocket money. lol :D

So, I must say something. First and foremost to all my old-and-gold friends, i LOVE you guys. U guyz totally rock my world. Seriously it's so fascinating, isn't it? That it is in the making of new friends that you cherish your old friends...... A simple message/sms from a familiar face literally plasters a smile on my face. Somehow the feeling of nostalgia, it hits hard and it hits right! But I'm enjoying this feeling. The feeling of getting to mix around and make new friends, and at the same time your current friends make your day in their own simple ways. I don't know why but my mood has been great, especially today, so am looking at things in a really bright and optimistic way! And am telling you, things look and sound so much better from this viewpoint!!

Being exposed to a completely new place, brand new atmosphere, a whole crowd of unknown faces -- definitely intimidating at first. But slowly as am making my way round the JC and mingling with the people, I feel great! The people are great, I've made lots of new friends. At the end of each day, I've learnt so many things---both academic and non-academic. I have so much to bring back with me, while i come empty-handed at first. Of course its not like every single teeny-weeny bit appeals to me or something, but seriously on the whole i think its fantastic. Quite challenging--i love this kind of challenges.

And going to Drama & Debate Auditions have definitely helped to give my self-confidence a very-much-needed Thumbs Up. How i performed does matter, of course, but it's not the only thing that matters. I got to make new friends, something really cool, and I got to learn so much from each and every one of them! Everyone is really so unique, I don't get it why only certain people end up being 'popular'. In my eyes everyone has got a really Ultra interesting side to them. The debate audition was ultra enriching. We all shared our viewpoints, encouraged each other, had a fun time together, and yet at the end of the day we're so much more aware of certain things and sensitive to particular issues than we were at the start of the day. Exciting! I am seriously loving it. Though like every other human being, am feeling downright nervous of the audition results. okok calm down--- the most important thing? I had F.U.N =)

For me, my days at JC are getting better and better, and I really hope they stay this way. I hope each of you has a GREAT time wherever you are. Just be more open-minded and U'll realise there are so many happy things all around us.

Have a nice time, everybody. Adios.

2006-01-08T19:41:00.000-08:00

Its Raining Man...

Hallelujah

Its Raining Man....

Oh man!! It's been raining cats and dogs for so many days now!! And tomorrow's supposed to be our campfire! Already BP Campfire was interrupted(aka spoiled) by the rain! Now its us J1s turn! Oh Rain God, please let it be in our favour *tears threaten to break the surface*

Friday was indeed funner, obviously because of the Fun Dance. Like duhhh:D. The steps are really nice!(even though u may disagree after u see me dance. am a bad dancer:-/). Those guys on the stage danced really well....hmmm making me think twice(naah, think many times actually!) about joining their CCA. They danced so professionally, am sure they do other stuff equally professionally as well. Uhoh inferiority complex setting in :S And finally, i'm getting myself to be more and more enthusiastic. At first i really thought some cheers were lame, but then it occured to me that it was indeed all about lameness. Like u know....the Fun in being Lame *feels truly enlightened*. So yea, kind of cool.

And another really cool thing about Friday was, we went to BP!!!!!!! For the Sec1 campfire. It was raining like anything man! So we kind of tried helping to get the chairs inside but were hushed into the shelter laters. And am telling u man, we were SOO warmly received by the school. Am really touched. We were provided with dry BP tees to change into and asked to join in the campfire. Mr Chan was like..."i miss u guyz..". So sweet!! I miss BP so much man!! And we were like dying to sing the school song! U can't believe it! We sang really loudly! I LUV that place man! I LUV Bp for moulding me to who i am today. Really. Only after leaving that place have i realised that so much of who i am has been contributed by my secondary school. I'll forever miss ya BPGHS, esp the truly WONDERFUL staff! U guys are really the best.

Alright I'll leave u guys with this really enjoyable song then...

Father Abraham had seven children..

seven children, had Father Abraham

Some of them were tall and some of them were short

but none of them was right.....

.........

2006-01-04T22:06:00.000-08:00

Second day at Pjc.
It was better than yesterday. But umm, pretty boring. The only 'fun' thing was the Mass Dance. Considering tha fact that the dance is actually pretty nice, we should have really enjoyed ourselves. However i didn't really.
*It was really long = too many dance steps to remember = easily exhausted.
*The music was playing loud = me got a headache = kept wishing the whole thing would just end = didn't really get to enjoy it
* We had to dance together with guys(atleast I had to, together with some unlucky few! Nisha is damn lucky! Grr am jealous!) = bit of uneasiness, actually lots on the part of the guy[I shall not mention his name for the sake of courtesy:)] = the dance being not-so-enjoyable
However at the end we still managed to laugh quite a bit and were pretty sweaty(maybe we stinked as well:) ) This teacher In-Charge of Student Council of Pjc kept asking us to suggest how we can improve. Errrrr I don't remember doing this during our Sec1 Orientation(guys did we?:S) Anyway I have no idea what to suggest even though i found it pretty boring:S No offence. I do understand that the Seniors have burned a lot of their holidays for this and made sacrifices on their part. Yepp really appreciate u guyz for that. However cannot deny that it wasn't exactly fun.
Hey maybe the fun hasn't begun yet? Sounds optimistic:) We still have until Monday to go..
And the seniors performed for us their "Fun Dance". I was really excited about it, especially since the teacher said he liked it too as it was "multiracial" and "very much like Singapore"(according to him!). I was expecting like a fusion of U know...songs like maybe "Singapura..singapura...pretty island set in the sea", "munneri valiba...", "rasa sayang..." and u know...those kind of songs. But guess what it turned out to be?? It was a dance on the song "It's the time to disco" from the hindi movie Kal ho na ho! And I can confidentally say that the dance steps were also copied from the movie! Ermm SOO multiracial man! Ahh am impresssssed *rolls eyes*
But yeah, they did dance pretty well. Am sure i can too *flips hair*
Anyway the above are strictly MY views. If u agree with me, good for you. If you're like totally red with rage and planning to kill me for being honest, don't bother cuz ur ideas are going to flop anyway :D
Tomorrow the station games start! Hope its "funner".
ELKINS rock! 3 cheers & 3 cheers & 3 cheers for Elkins! Hip hip hurray(x3)
[trying to be enthu:S]

2006-01-01T16:29:00.000-08:00

A new year blossoms. Away with the past worries, past mistakes. Make way for new opportunities, new dreams and new inspirations. Welcome year 2006 !!
As we get ourselves ready to take in the beginning of a new year, lets still keep a small little place in our hearts for all the events of last year, especially those that bonded us as one. The most unforgettable one would definitely be the Hurricane Katrina & Tsunami. As we recently celebrated the first anniversary of that mighty work of Nature, we're reminded yet again that sometimes Man learns things the hard way. All the terrorist attacks, the riots(in Paris and Sydney), racial prejudice and cruelty laid upon innocent people, this year would hopefully not get to see it all.
Personally, I'd like to see a significant decrease in the frequency of racial strifes. Haven't u noticed that we witnessed a sudden increase in 2005? The golden question--why? What do people get by killing others,esp the innocent ones? By setting properties(even people) ablaze? By opening fire on a group of people for umm...NO reason or perhaps they just felt like it? What joy and satisfaction does it bring to hear widows' cries? to make people homeless? WHY ARE MORE AND MORE PEOPLE BECOMING SINNERS??? Seriously what's wrong with them? Are they devoid of feelings like sympathy, compassion and love??? I really don't understand!
Have i made any New Year Resolutions? Umm so far i haven't! Will I in the future? Nah actually am not the meticulous kind of person. I hardly ever plan. Would rather take things as they come, one step at a time. But surely will think things through as i encounter them.
3 main areas of focus for me: Concentration, Consistency, Correction
May all u guyz have a blasting new year! May all your dreams come soaring true! Happy 2006:)
Have a look at 2005Review

2005-12-25T17:02:00.000-08:00

We wish you a merry christmas........

Been a little while since I returned home from a Ganapati homa(indian pooja) at an aunt's place. Yepp on Christmas. Cool eh? Hehe I find it pretty exciting! *grins*
Really sorry Michelle, wasn't able to make it to your house. Hope u guys have lots of fun
Mum's still not back though. And my cold is getting on my nerves! Grrr. Nothing's been up for the past few days. Got to prepare for entrance tests in India. A little worried. Will I make it to one of the good schools there?? ['worrying' mode is switched on]
Anyway, wassup? U guys been singing Xmas carols? ;) I admit i don't know any other than "jingle bells"--and even that I only know the first line! Ahhahha :D
Just realised that most of my posts talk about Me, Me and Me. Does that make me an egoccentric person? Well can't blame me for being forever-amused with myself!! What more, nobody appears more interesting than yourself. So hmmm I can safely assume that whatever am saying/doing is justified? Wait! Am living for myself (and my loved ones of course). So umm does it matter whether any random person thinks of me as super egoistic? hehe NO! Meanwhile I shall leave you to sing Xmas carols.
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way

2005-12-24T07:50:00.000-08:00

Yay! India's heaviest satellite(3000+kgs) finally launched :)

Satellite launch to boost DTH in India from PhysOrg.com

The successful launch Thursday of India's heaviest satellite from spaceport of Kourou in French Guyana may have boosted the country's space research efforts to yet another level, but it has also lifted the spirits of at least three Direct-To-Home televisions broadcasters, one of which has been waiting for years to launch its services in India.

[...]

Ahha very interesting :

Researchers develop new method for studying 'mental time travel' from PhysOrg.com

Neuroscientists at Princeton University have developed a new way of tracking people's mental state as they think back to previous events -- a process that has been described as "mental time travel."

[...]

And I can't help it if am not intelligent! Blame my Brain size, teachers & parents :P

Bigger brain size matters for intellectual ability from PhysOrg.com

Brain size matters for intellectual ability and bigger is better, McMaster University researchers have found.

[...]

2005-12-23T10:08:00.000-08:00

Do those who did well in PSLE necessarily do well in O level, A level, Undergraduate courses and so on? I do not think so. And those who didn't do well in one of those major exams, does it mean they've virtually destroyed their beautifully-sewn-together future? Naah. Honestly, whats the first thing that comes to your mind when U're devastated? Is it "God why is it always me?? What sin have i committed to be at the receiving end? I've never ever done...blah blah blah.." or is it "Nevermind. Sorrow is as much a part of life as Happiness is. Its alright. am going to move on no matter what.." ?? Of course its the former!! And why not? Thats being human! When we're really crestfallen, suddenly we see ourselves as some angelic figures, going around doin' good to everybody on Earth and wishing that everybody does well, and thats why we see it as unfair when something really upsets us. What happened to those times when we lied? When we cheated---not as in seriously cheated but the rather harmless one. But still, its called cheating! How come we oversee all that?
And why do we ask God to give us a second chance? Is it always God who must give us chances? Why can't it be us who give ourselves another chance to prove ourselves? Because in our eyes we have already fallen to a level from where we see it as hard to pull ourselves up? If indeed God can raise us above that, why can't we do so likewise? If we believe in ourselves, then why keep insisting on God to help us, give us one final chance?!
Yes finally I feel like I've been enlightened! lol. and no i didnt sit under a tree for 13 years! It feels kind of reassuring when nobody's there for u to confide in and suddenly, u discover u don't exactly need anybody. U yourself are your best friend and what makes things even more convenient? U know yourself the best.
My rough aims for the year ahead---2006!
Study hard, play hard, be more focussed, try to stay away from distractions and be more dedicated to whatever i pursue.
Fair and square? All said and done----here comes the challenge. To go about achieving it. Good luck to me, and to all of you. Merry Christmas and Happy New year, in advance. May the year ahead be a very eventful one for U and Me. :)

2005-12-17T09:46:00.000-08:00

Am up early today! Around 8 am! Thats super early for me alright. Ahha what a nice way of making a good start =D
Went for a morning run, not entirely out of personal interests. Firstly, didn't have anything more useful and/or productive to do. Secondly, had planned to start jogging/running since a LONG time so it was high time to make it come true:). Thirdly, wanted to freshen up a bit and really exercise. My target of how many rounds to run (each round covering a distance of 400m) was initially not set. Decided to give it a go first. However as I started running, decided on 4 rounds. Then made it 5. After about 1st round, felt like shit! Really. But well Who was I kidding? Of course I had proved earlier on to have run atleast 4 rounds.
The funny thing was, I had to keep searching for ways to remain focussed and motivate myself to meet my target. U know whats the usual thing people say that helps ya keep going? Imagine U can see your loved one at the finishing line. Run to him!! lol honestly I've never ever found it useful so far! Have you?
Anyway, I decided to be more inventive or perhaps it came as natural to me. Kept imagining that all the while I was running, people kept boo-ing me. Said crappy stuff like 'aah U look like an idiot the way u run. muahahaha". lol really am not making this up. And whats even more fascinating is that all those imaginary people were guys. lol. And what i wanted to do was meet my target, reach the finishing line, put on this really pretty smile & ask those imaginary lot to simple F*** Off! *blushes* Guess what? It works!! Not only did i meet my target, I ran one extra round. Thus making it about 2.4 kms in total. not bad right, for a person who hasn't run for some monthssss? *blushes again.dammit stop blushing Arpita.This is no big deal! lol*
I thought deeper about this. I think what i realllly want to do is prove myself to others. There's definitely this burning desire deep within me to show people my true blue positive qualities. Show-off? naah i don't think so. Just want to earn credit for something I truly deserve =)
The run was followed by a crashing headache(a little better now). Felt badly like i wanted to puke. Much better now too. Lets see how things turn out later but certainly the world seems a lot more clearer and brighter to me now. A feeling of accomplishment lingers on.
U want to experience the same feelings? Go and sweat it out baebae...

2005-12-13T21:27:00.000-08:00

For a change, yesterday was spent in a way that broke free of the cycle of the routine. Had told SJ some time earlier that I'll take her to an Indian restaurant. I felt pretty bad when she wasn't able to make it to my house because she was working. So met her at the Woodlands control station. Well after leaving my house I realised that I had left behind something VerY important, so had to call my mum to help me get it. After that, I started running towards the Bus stop. I ran, then stopped, then ran all the way. An officer in a police car just looked at me with a weird expression. Thats my problem. Whenever completely guilt-free, I can make myself look very guilty somehow. Sickening.
Since the train was about to arrive in about 2 mins, I asked SJ to board the train. Talking to her on mobile, it dawned upon me that we were at nearly opposite ends of the train. In the end i saw her of course! *phew* Then we started talking. I kept on talking endlessly until she had to ask "Do u always talk so much?". Haha umm SJ, yes with people I know very well that is! Talked about random things, like the SEA games, my encounters with strangers in train and so on. Quite fun! Then we alighted at Dhoby Gaut to take a train in the North-East line. Was telling SJ about the MRT seats in that train. And about the 'please mind the gap'. Lol we were laughing a lot and all. Finally, it was 'Little India station, please mind the gap'. Ha!
I have absolutely NO idea which Exit i took initially, cuz when we came out of the MRT station, the usual 'landforms' weren't there. I called mum and told her they had suddenly vanished, including the Mustafa shopping centre itself! We were now standing near Race Course lane, which was actually the 'behind part' of where we should have gone! So in the end, we did reach the right place and found the right 'landforms' wherever they were supposed to be! So much and so for them vanishing!
Went to the Komala's restaurant. Firstly because it was the nearest(ooops!) and also because more or less all the restaurants there serve same quality of indian food. Obviously it doesn't stand a chance to Indian food in India. duh obviously!? After that, we went in Mustafa and looked around. The chocolates were Super tempting. Saw loads of watches and lotsa other stuff.
once out of Mustafa, we decided to 'explore' the place. Kept walking, taking pictures with our phone and posing for them. So looked for some nice backgrounds. They were all very high up so we were like, "Gosh why can't someone bring them down!??". yes we were pretty crazy =D Saw lots of Africans/African-Americans at Little India. Perhaps a whole group of tourists.
After out 'photo-taking' session was over, we sat down on a bench and talked. The talk was something close to my heart, cuz i told SJ a bit about my childhood. Yea we did 'gossip' or whatever U wanna call it, but we are more than matured to do any back-biting or such despicable things. We are angels. Can't u see the halo above our heads glowing bright? =)
Went back atlast. Took some pics at the MRT station and in the train itself. Told ya, its insanity personified. Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself throughly. Thanks SJ, for making my day so happy and fun-filled. Thanks a lot.
Mich: hope ya make a speedy recovery Gal! =)

2005-12-10T21:08:00.000-08:00

Went to Causeway Point alone yesterday. Guyz this is what happens when U end up having a strife with ur parents, U'll have to go shopping alone =)
Nonetheless, am pretty satisfied with my acquired-after-some-experience skill of shopping by myself. Actually so many people come all the way to Causeway Point(CP) to shop but I feel that CP doesn't have a lot to offer anymore, atleast not in terms of clothes. Well perhaps what was being offered didn't appeal to my taste. So ended up getting a pant. The colour was a shade off pink, really quite nice. Got another shirt from Metro, purple in colour and sleeveless. Well am really thrifty U see, so have to search more than others to actually consider paying bucks for something that really deserves it. My mum didn't see eye to eye with me regarding this but oh well! am happy, really happy! I guess a more serious underlying reason is that I made my own decision and adhered to it? Well we're 16-yr-olds, in fact some of us are goin' to be 17, so I think its high time we start making our own decisions on important issues? How much longer are we supposed to remain as a Mummy's/Daddy's gals?
I think the ability to make decisions comes with a heavy responsibility but we should be able to shoulder that by now! Oh please we're no kids! If u still prefer to hide behind ur parents and let them make major decisions for U, its high time U grow up:) Just because we are making our own choices is not tantamount to them not being as equally 'good' or whatsoever as that made by adults! We ARE young adults for God's sake! We mature as we make mistakes and learn from them. Being sheltered all our life doesn't make us matured even if we're 21 years and above! *rolls eyes*
Oh yes! On my way back from CP, I witnesses this fight between a guy and a gal. All of a sudden, the guy just shouted and all eyes were on him. The Gal fought back. At first it was just a shouting match but the Gal then started pushing the guy back. Well the guy didn't react violently. I wonder why-----trying hard to be a gentleman? Ha! Well...
1) the 'shouting match' opposed all notions of him being a gentleman &
2) such a gal didn't deserve any 'gentlemanly' treatment
U know the area near the escalators towards the Woodlands Bus Interchange, where a lot of people are usually trying to sell/publicise/promote something. A handful of them, quite old somemore, behaved really foolishly!! They were inviting their peers to watch the scene. Ok curiosity is expected, my attention was caught too. But the way they behaved, saying something very much like "Hey, come come watch that!" was.....gosh! So childish! Don't they have any common sense? Enough scene was already created, noone needed their kind publicity. Ahh I guess those people are only good at 'publicing' things, their business anyway! ye ye..
Just a word to my peers and random people all over--- please do keep your calm and do not get over-excited at things which totally doesn't involve u. Definitely the 2 involved in the fight wouldn't have wanted all that extra bit of publicity they may get from total strangers. So, lets keep a civil tongue when its most needed :)
Read some reviews on the movie "Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire". Made me look back on so many things which the movie failed to mention. Oh yes actually even I was disappointed that the Quidditch World Cup was over in a blink of an eye. The house elves were non-existent in the movie!!!No Bagman! The 2nd task in the TriWizard Tournament was appeared so much simpler than its described in the book. The Maze!!! Whatsoever happened to the sphinx! No spiders! Just some devils' snare thats all~?? So yes i don't know if I'll still say i like the movie as much as before. The last movie i watched was Prime. To anyone thinking of watching this movie, I suggest U think twice. Oops, spoilers ahead!
A 23-year-old guy falls in love with a 3o plus lady. The lady's counsellor(or something like that) turns out to be the guy's mum. yada yada. They get in-and-out of de relationship. The gal's forever worried about the guy being younger than her. And yet she goes on and on endlessly about her sexual experiences with the guy. And in the end, they decide(i don't know when they do so in the movie but they just did!) to go their own separate ways. They see each other at some random place after some time & there's this dreamy smile on both their faces! And i paid nearly 10 bucks to watch this? Gosh wasted! Radhika U liked it anyway..haha:P
Ok am off. Tata.

2005-12-08T23:42:00.000-08:00

So...most likely am going to go back to India! Brings a whale of memories. Yup i can find myself being transported back to the times I spent in a beautiful state in India: Rajasthan. I ain't a bit embarrassed to confess that I was a super ignorant person then. I led a simple life.
I had no idea where Singapore was. Had not listened to any English songs. Used to play with Barbie dolls for an unusually long period of time. No video games( anyway they never appealed to me). Wore spectacles with really BIG frames(i mean it when i say big). And my spectacles even had these strings dangling from them to make sure they didn't fall off easily(just imagine Mr Peacock's specs :) ). All I did,or atleast remember doing, was to play. Everything in my life took place in a very systematic order, not the messed up way it is now. I was unofficially known as the 'nerd' in my school i guess. I didn't give a hoot about others' business. I did have really good friends though, maybe cuz i came across as quite a plesant and funny girl then!?
Nonetheless, I consider myself blessed to be gifted with such a wonderful childhood. Everyday we had a supposed 'play time' where me, my sis & the other neighbourhood kids used to gather to play at an aunt's place. Believe it or not, aunty used to play with us too! aaah =) Occasionally I used to go out with my parents to have dinner in Cannaught Place. I still love the mango milkshake we used to have during summertime. There were lots of Birthday parties, which meant lots of gifts too. =D School was really fun. Somehow all my homework used to get done without much difficulty. The meaning of 'stress' was unknown to me. I was healthy, had lots of fun and yet I excelled in my studies.
I lived in a town(or village??) in Rajasthan named Pilani. Almost everyone who's been there is deeply impressed with the place. Weather's one of the only exceptions. It was extreme conditions; terrible cold(near or below 0 deg), awful heaty summer(nearly 50 deg!), little rain. Oh well its near desert U see. I've seen sand dunes. Never exactly admired them, always thought they're just piles of sand, so plain. That was until I came here & realised that we should indeed cherish natural things like that.
Rajasthan has LOTS of tourist attractions. It has palaces, really gorgeous ones. One example of such is the 'Hawa Mahal'. In ajmer, there's this reallllly famous Dargah. Its something like a, umm, like a mosque U could say. I liked it there man! Everything inside was so colourful. Ok maybe it was people wearing colourful clothes perhaps? Umm=D And Mount Abu is a lovel hill station, where tourists flock in to catch the sunset. Looks kinda gooood from there!! And Rani Padmini's tower in Chattisgarh is simply Awesome! The was these towers and palaces are designed, am tellin' ya! People in these days were really smartasses man! They're one helluva architects!! hats off to them
Well to taste the beauty of these wonders, U just gotta visit. And even then if U don't think they're awesome, U've got something big-time wrong with ur brains:)
Ahh but life in Bangalore is going to be very much different i persume. OK lets not count the chickens(or eggs??) before they are hatched =)

2005-12-08T06:31:00.000-08:00

Your Birthdate: February 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame.You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them.Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing.You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship.
Your strength: Your charm
Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics
Your power color: Indigo
Your power symbol: Four leaf clover
Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Career Type: Enterprising

You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable.Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas.
You would make an excellent:
Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp DirectorCity Manager - Judge - LawyerRecreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales PersonSchool Principal - Travel Agent - TV Newscaster The worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect.

What's" Your Ideal Career?