Monday, June 23, 2008
Yeah i know it's been a long time since i posted. Felt like i didnt have enough content to blog about or the interest. I'm continuing it now and hope i do so more regularly from now on.It's holiday time right now and i haven't yet joined any classes and am basically rotting away at home!! At the same time, now that my mind's no more in that pressure-cooker-situation, I have more time to ponder over many things concerning myself and others in general.
Looking back at how these past 2 years literally flew past me. Many regrets. Some discoveries. Lots of introspection. Lots more of procrastination. Failing expectations. Feeling crestfallen-disappointed-confused-lost-helpless-deeply wounded. Wiping those tears. Looking ahead. Supportive friends. Some mockery. Some encouragement. Moving on. Thinking about the future. Having hopes. Eradicating those hopes in the fear of disappointments. Trying to be positive-determined-well balanced. And.. here i am.
I have no idea why but I feel that i'm meant to stand out in a crowd. Am not meant to be one of those pale personalities which come and go in a blink of an eye. I'm obviously not trying to boast(there's nothing to boast about anyway!). Am just trying to find the purpose with which God sent me here on this planet. I am aware of the fact that when am lost, God does leave me clues to find the path on which I am supposed to tread along. At those instants, I might have been looking for direct answers and hence could have missed the clues but now as I look back, I realise that I lacked patience to find that path and make my own decisions.
I just feel that God wants me to stand out from the crowd and be a role model for others. Someone who genuinely cares, respects and wishes good for others while being strong and capable herself. Someone who's qualified to help others. And to get there, I do realise that I've got a lot of commitments to fulfill and would have to raise myself to greater heights and push myself to the limits. This is where I'm going to head towards now, trying to get in touch with myself as well as the purpose am supposed to fulfill.
Till next post, cya :)
Labels: introspection
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